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After Party '05

For those of you who were there you'll know that after Elemenstorm 2005 we had the wildest afterparty ever. We were all pretty drunk so I'll need everyone's help remembering all the details. Particularly the other cars that made the trip.

RSmith's car

So to start out it was RSmith (dressed as a Dairy Bishop), Ed (dressed as an overstuffed arm chair), Jim (dreesed as the Marquess of the Pirates), Deborah (dressed as a Pyromancer), and myself (Quizatzhaderac, I was dreesed as Sierra Vanity. No I'm not gay, I just dress as chicks occasionally). Right off the bat we were all smashed (except Ed, the driver) because back at the convention someone served us what they said was peach schnapps, but turned out to be prairie fires. I, being ambitious, had chosen alabama slammers as my chaser.

So on the way there we stopped at a gas station. RSmith got gas and I went off to the liqour store with Deb trailling a safe distance behind me. Jim spotted a chick (named Cherry) who must've been at the con because she was wearring a very realistic wench costume. Jim yelled out "Wench! Seek thou epic adventure and hardcore action?!?" and she joined us. The car was pretty full but RSmith figured, we can't leave her stranded, we're council right?

Meanwhile I was off to buy the liqour. Deb and I were the only ones over 20 and Deb had that court order not to buy alcohol (they put that on your lisence). So I went in, bought it, and came out. However a cop was watching and caught me. At that point I figured: I'm pretty drunk, I'll just use the drunken monk fighting style on him. Well apparently you have to actually specifically learn how to do that. So while I was getting a beatting a bottle of vodka broke and soaked the cop. Deb (my then girlfriend) saw it and ran over with her lighter (she doesn't smoke but carries a lighter) and sets the cop on fire. We ran back to the car and the six of us got the hell away.

Quizatzhaderac's hotel room

The actual party was held in my's hotel room and the Ramada Inn. RSmith's car got there first. We went in and continued the drinking game we had started in the car. We'd all try to chug a beer as fast as we could and the loser had to drink a cup of gin. Other people had been arriving and when I went out to get ice I came back and noticed that there was twice as much furniture in my room as there was in the morning, and I had no idea which of it was real. That guy Ed was just sitting around waiting for people to sit on him.

A couple, the boy dressed as an Edwardian dining chair and the girl dressed as a matching writing desk, put on a spontaneous and hilarious "strip" show that combined salacious wriggling with a heartfelt admonishment not to refinish your antiques. "It's not stripping, it's refinishing" is a phrase guaranteed to elicit peals of laughter from anyone who was at the party- even those too drunk to remember the actual dance will have heard the story from their friends.

Toward the end RSmith had to kick Ed out when he saw him putting on the shelving with the "costume china" glued to it. We didn't want to hear creaking all night long. After that some people left and the rest of us passed out there in the room.

Jute Mill and the Wizbits show room

The other guys had their "crazy parties" and their "completely drunk." Me? I dug 'em a little 'n then checked out into the room where they were showing ripped episodes of The Wizbits Cartoon. Well, about five minutes into Wet Party, I noticed me and two guests I had with me were sitting in "the Mystery Science Theater 3000 corner" and, well, kids who've been up for 18 hours straight will be kids who've been up for 18 hours straight.

So we got a decent reception for our shennanigans, but then I got a sudden case of the damn hungries and swiped some candy from a display. Only it turns out the candy wasn't complimentary, so I had to lose a horde of bellhops in a mass of Furnies in costume. They couldn't find me amidst the swarm of desks and chairs. I suggested to me pals that we head over to the Merchandise room...

Some guy had every issue of the comic for sale at 25 cents apiece, so I got all of them. Me and my compatriots hauled them out as best we could--but hey, we're geeks and bad at that.

And then we went back to the film room and it turned out that somebody (nobody still knows whom) had put the uncut Wish Upon a Wizbit up there. Tentalce pornography for everyone!

It gets kind of hazy after that... I think the bar ran out of Bawls and a literal quiet riot broke out as the gamers collectively ran out of energy.

On the upshot, when I woke up, I found my head landed on a printed second-gen copy of ELOTH:TES PnP RPG LAGER. I sneak't it home and have since converted it, sloooowly, to text.

Yeah, at least my experience was productive.

Charmy's Great Lesson

I learned never to dress as a Nightstand around a group of fans vying for the position of Wasted Elemenstor.

I'd really rather not go into any more detail than that.