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Armchair Mindsmiths

When furniture was first given life by the Hierarchs, it did not take long for them to realize that their great plan was not to be. Man foolishly and stubbornly refused to serve their obviously superior furniture lords. Almost immediately, the furniture began to use their divine gifts and evolve so they could force man into subservience. Armchairs were among the first to adapt themselves in this manner, many being already suited to sudden transition in their lives as recliners. The result was the first iteration of what man would call surreptitious seating -- Armchair Mindsmiths.

By all appearances, a Mindsmith is a normal chair until a witless man sits upon it. Once contact is made, the chair's fibers infuse themselves into the fiber of the man's being. From that point on the man is compelled to obey the chair's every wish. The process is not always successful, but a disobediant victim will find themselves bound by thousands of black threads and sucked into the chair's cushions for their insolence (incidentally, a chair that absorbs a person in this way is said to become much comfier). More often than not, however, the man quickly submits to the Armchair Mindsmith's infusion and becomes a faithful servant just as the Hierarchs intended. After an indefinite time, the man can even leave the armchair and operate normally in society, guided by the chair's unseen hand (or at least they would be if chairs had hands).

The only known way to discern an Armchair Mindsmith from a normal armchair is that very scratchy fabric with unattractive color combinations are usually necessary to facilitate this fiber infusion. As such, many children of witless men have grown to prefer leather chairs. However, the greatest of Armchair Mindsmiths can change their upholstery at will, so this tactic is not always foolproof.