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Assorted Heroes
Although parties involved in the rescue of some damsels in distress are often typified as Assorted Heroes, this is a gross misuse of the word typified. Assorted Heroes are those few men (and women, in the event that said damsel is actually a pansy) of great mediocrity that rise from the ranks of The Guild of Assortment to gain some recognition but not so much as to deserve their own page.
It should also be noted that in the event of a pansy-damsel confusion, women would only be present on account of the proven scientific fact that women are inexplicably obsessed with flowers (see Gunter's big Book of Fakts about STUF). It is this very obsession that led to the creation of hired help with the dawn of The Garden of Not Having Enough Time to Garden Yourself. Retired Assorted Heroes can often be found pruning petunias here and/or there, assuming that the petunias are not mauve. Assorted Heroes are deathly afraid of the color mauve.
Comments
| Huh? Damsels have to be pansies to be heroes? Guild of Assortment members become gardeners when they get old? What? Is this canonicle? |
| If by canonicle, you mean not canonicle, then yes it is. And besides, it's spelled canonical. Regardless, canon would be more appropriate in this situation anyway. |
| I do believe that what the author is conferring is that in order for the hero to be of the female gender, the damsel in distress would in fact have to be a pansy* in distress. Or if not, perhaps heroes that become too old can no longer handle rescuing pansies and are demoted to tending to petunias. |
| That would seem to make the most sense. From the way the author phrases it, the damsel herself (himself?) would have to be the one being the panzy. And of course they're going to prune petunias; pruning pansies would just be too ironically painful for said retired Assorted Hero. |
| And that the only reason a woman would be involved in the rescuing of a pansy (girly man) is because they are inexplicably obsessed with flowers (a pansy is a kind of flower). |
| Well either that or it's an El-Slash work/bishonen manga. |
*read, little girly man
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