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Battle of The Six Undoings and Five Redoings

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Battle of The Six Undoings and Five Redoings

 

"Laughing fiendishly, the Dark Elemenstor sliced at the currents of Timenes, tearing the surprised furniliar loose from the fabric of reality. Before she had a chance to protest, Helen the Recliner had been thoroughly, utterly wiped out, along with her history, her future, even the very memory of her existence. She had been undone;;;;;;with a triumphant shriek, Helen the Recliner descended upon the surprised Dark Elemenstor, flattening him with one mighty charge, then trampling him until he reached the consistency of mashed tomatoes;;;a flash of lightning tore through the tumult, illuminating the grizzled Elemenstor and his ambulatory dresser;;;turnips; The battle was about to begin."

 

- The Elemenstor Cycle, Book 12 : End of the Hierarch Wars

 

The second Final Battle of the Hierarch Wars features a considerable amount of Temporal Elemenstation / Timesorc'ley. As the past and the future are repeatedly altered and mangled, the plot becomes increasingly difficult to follow. To this day, fans keep arguing about what (if anything) actually happened during the battle, who (if anyone) participated in it, and whether the battle actually took place at all.

 

Due to its temporally distorted nature, this battle became a very popular one to brag about. Heroes great and small, no matter how Epic they were, would brag for days on end in taverns and brothels about their exploits in the Battle of The Six Undoings and Five Redoings. It was common to claim responsibility, at least in part, for a couple of The Undoings and a Redoing or two. Those who actually died in the battle permanently, and those who died around the time of the battle but were probably not involved at all, and those who claim to have died in the battle, are honored at the Shrine of Time.

 

Some fans have speculated that the severe temporal distortion is the real cause of the legions of semicolons which march through the text. It is suggested that the semicolons represent an elegant and coherent form of temporal punctuation which would make comprehensible sense of the narrative, if only Tycho Brahe would deign to explain the reverse-future-perfect-nominative tense he uses freely through this battle.

 

Right in the middle of the battle, Horatio Luskfish and Harbinger Portent have quite an amusing discussion, at the Rusty Knight's expense. -tim

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