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Chastarr's Soiled Undergarments

Chastarr Dopporuous was a Mundanae Daigon-tamer of limited success from the land of Graha c. 18, 071.

He was also one of the many victims of legendary lover Gonsuave Giovelli's terrible reign of love. After Gonsuave passed through Chastarr's homeland one autumn afternoon, all of the women could not be pleased afterwards. The rumour had it that Gonsuave took everyone fit, willing, and able into a swimming pool for an hour, and none of their lives were the same afterwards.

Nothing could satiate them the way Gonsuave had.

And the girlfriend that Chastarr was living with was no different, since Chastarr was out of town that day looking for Daigon to tame, he missed the Gonsuave Giovelli Experience and his girlfriend deemed him no longer a worthy bedmate.

Realizing that this and his current lack of tamed Daigon's would soon land him in the poor house, Chastarr decided that he had need to improve his skills in the sack. Instead of taking the time to talk with his girlfriend about her likes and dislikes in that area, practicing with her and discovering more about himself and their relationship in the process, Chastarr wanted to take the quick and easy route of Elemenstation.

Luckily for Chastarr, a wanderer passing through his village happened to be selling just the wares our ineffective Romeo was looking for. Swinging a cat around by its tail and accompanying the caterwauling with his own rendition of Puzzicola's Operatic Epic that was highly influenced by the empty hip flask under his robes, it was none other than Low Elemenstor Rosinquist.

As soon as he heard Chastarr's dilemma, Rosinquist drew the young Daigon-tamer aside and mumbled something incomprehensible.

After being asked to repeat himself, Rosinquist slyly indicated a pair of undergarments that he had in one hand, and a rubian shard in the other, while winking profusely at Chastarr.

Going red in the face, Chastarr assumed he knew what Rosinquist was getting at. Slipping him more money than an honest Daigon-tamer should have (in truth it was from Chastarr's girlfriend's "James Fund"), Rosinquist grinned eagerly and fashioned a low-level Elemenstated artifact.

Saying that they were imbued with Earth, Rosinquist promised that they would grant Chastarr with a firm presence in bed, but that Chastarr shouldn't wear them until just before the "exercise". Nodding hopefully, Chastarr hardly noticed the speed with which Low Elemenstor Rosinquist dashed out of town. Supposedly on "High Elemenstor" business.

Getting ready for the big night, Chastarr dumped a pint of Dolphinthrope musk on his chest and then donned his newly enchanted undergarments. Stepping out into the bedroom with his girlfriend in it, Chastarr was ready to impress her.

What he wasn't ready for was the look of total horror on her face, and her eyes locked on his midsection.

Glancing towards his newly acquired magical accoutrements, Chastarr quickly realized the terror of the situation. His undergarments were spewing forth mud at an incalculable rate! Soiling themselves, the floor, and soon the entire room.

Chastarr tried in vain to remove the cursed underroos, but he found his hands stuck to the mud so fiercely that it was the best he could do to get his left hand out, abandoning the right.

Screaming, his girlfriend fled the room, and Chastarr would have too, except that the mud piling around him had now encased his legs to the kneecaps - and it wasn't letting go.

Luckily for Chastarr the Elemenstation in the undergarments was only caused by a rubian shard and the effect only lasted an hour or so. It was enough to fill the room up to Chastarr's waist, but not enough to drown him in his own elementally-forged soil.

Living down the gossip that sprung up from the event was a task too great for Chastarr to bear, and he left the sleepy hamlet never to be seen again...