Back to Famous Miscellaneous Items
Cheese Wellies
Thick leather overalls. Part of the full regalia of a Dairy Bishop, particularly of Leng. In addition to having a ceremonial significance, the cheese wellies protect the acolytes from the potent Blue Cheeses of Leng. The Cheese Welly consists of the hide of an entire cow, tanned for six minutes in watered-down Blue Cheese of Leng, accomplishing in this time what it can take up to a month to accomplish by regular tanning. It is distinguished by its incredible suppleness and softness, but also for its complete impermeability to all forms of moisture and vapour. The effect of the tanning process means of course that no metal needles can be used in the stitching process (metal needles react unfavourably with the Blue Cheese impregnated leather), and a cottage industry has arisen in Leng producing wooden needles for the production of Cheese Wellies. The breathing helm is an optional part for most Dairy Bishops, except for those whose holy duty includes production or handling of Blue Cheese, when the breathing helm is sewn in as an integral part of the garment.
Arkazanthal wore a particularly popular Dairy Bishop costume to his annual Welcome Day Ball one year, in Cheese Wellies, a leather smock, and wielding big brass cheese tongs. He did not wear a breathing helm, and no Dairy Bishop would be foolish enough to try to use brass cheese tongs (granite is the usual material), but everybody still knew exactly what he was supposed to be.
Rumours that excessive wearing of a Cheese Welly can cause psychological damage and a fixation on cheese are unconfirmed due to the fact that only psychologically-damaged cheese-fixated people are likely to wear one excessively.
Comments (0)
You don't have permission to comment on this page.