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Duke Alfamarma

The ugliest, nastiest, fattest Dooblegnard in The Dank. Alfamarma plays a small but pivotal role in Book 1. The Duke has a particular affection to being mucksucked by Gabe the Tribbit. This is indicated by the wretched heaving sound the dooblegnards make when pleased. The simple fact that Gabe is a particularly poor mucksucker changes the entire course of the history of Battal.

It is this Dooblegnard that Horatio Luskfish is assigned to mucksuck on a day when Gabe is strangely absent. This is thought by Horatio to be punishment of some kind since it is well known that Horatio dislikes this dooblegnard above all others. Despite this, Horatio (being the son of Julio) does a thorough job. He even scrapes beneath the Duke's posterior Wargnle Plate. It is a this point that Horatio frees the Pixlie Bibee. How she became trapped beneath his Wargnle plate is not clear, nor is it explicitly stated how long she had been there, although it is implied to be a very long time.

Here Duke Alfamarma passes from canon and into the rich torrent of fan fiction which goes on to detail his further exploits, in which he is often paired with Gabe.