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Elemenstor Doozlefrag
Doozlefrag was a notable Wank Elemenstor who was the mayor of the long lost town of Wizeldon. Under his administration, Wizeldon did not enjoy an incredible amount of success. In fact, it was under his charge that Wizeldon became lost in the first place. Doozlefrag subsequently petitioned to join the Very Lost Kingdoms, but he received a vicious snub for his efforts. Daunted, Doozlefrag left Wizeldon in a spectacular huff known to many as Doozlefrag's Great Huff, an event capped off by a speech and some wankery. After this, Doozlefrag became a Dark Elemenstor and was little thought of until his astounding death.
Elemenstor Doozlefrag
No one knows quite how an inept and self-centered idiot the likes of Doozlefrag ever became an Elemenstor, but many scholars suspect that it had to do with his possession of a certain talent involving a ping pong ball and...
If you find the ping pong ball, don't pick it up.
The Mayor of Wizeldon
Doozlefrag was in fact elected to mayor Wizeldon on his own initiative, personally setting up the election booths and voting himself. Counting the vote, he demanded that the democratically-established town of Wizeldon respect its heritage and declare him the new mayor as he had won the election. Grudgingly, the townsfolk realized that he was right and named him the mayor.
It is important to note that Wizeldon was in fact not a democratically-established town and had never before in its history even had an election; Doozlefrag had to personally tutor many of the townsfolk in how to pronounce the word.
Doozlefrag's first order of business was to put in place an ordinance that stated only he could ever vote in elections, no one else. Secondly, he stated that no more elections would ever be held, reminding the townsfolk that they had elected him into office to do whatever he pleased (when in fact they hadn't) and therefore he had the right (which, according to his third law, he did).
Doozlefrag consumed copious amounts of alcohol and had the habit of staggering around the town, threatening to lock up anybody who insinuated that he was drunk. In fact, Doozlefrag was not drunk and could hold his liquor surprisingly well; he was just a tool. His greatest act of tooldom was in fact shrouded in mystery, and this was when he lost Wizeldon. For several months, not a soul who was not in Wizeldon when it became lost could not find it and the town was doom to its fate of isolationism.
Doozlefrag, seeing a chance to finally get the townsfolk on his side, decided to petition to become one of the Very Lost Kingdoms. Of course, the Very Lost Kingdoms did not have a committee for these things, so a group of travelers was found and made the committee. Even so, Doozlefrag received a stinging snub for all his efforts. This led straight into his Great Huff.
Doozlefrag's Great Huff
Doozlefrag's Great Huff was not his first huff. It was in fact his seventeenth, the previous sixteen being caused by household issues and reported to be more fits than huffs. In any event, upon returning to Wizeldon (apparently, Doozlefrag could find the town despite its lost status), Doozlefrag got up on a podium and began to call out each and every townsperson (and, by this, we mean not the women; Doozlefrag wasn't especially fond of women) and air out every bit of his dirty laundry to them. Coupled with the fact that he berated them during the whole ordeal, spectators could only be in awe of this huff that Doozlefrag had.
After he had run out of breath, he ran screaming out of Wizeldon, the customary action that begins wankery. Wankery was summarily performed on the village green.
Dark Elemenstor Doozlefrag
Doozlefrag traveled far and wide and he picked up the talent of Dark Elemenstation. He was only ever able to do parlor tricks with his new skills (inducing nosebleeds and the like), but he preferred to style himself the Dark Necromenstator Extraordinaire Doozlefrag, King of Scotland, Rightful Mayor of Wizledon, nWo 4 Life. Doozlefrag did manage to enchant the toe of his right shoe, though, and thereafter named his right shoe Henry, the Greater Shoe of Minor Chest Pain.
Doozlefrag's Demise
During an attempt to reach Wizeldon once again, Doozlefrag made the mistake of trying to ride a horse; Much like Vampyres, Wanks have notorious trouble with horses and, though the horse had previously told him "Not cool, dude, not cool," Doozlefrag tried to go through with it. Upon riding three feet, Doozlefrag was launched inexplicably straight up into the air fifty feet. He rotated backwards in a sitting position before exploding in a shower of candy and toys.
Later, the candy was shown to have traces of cyanide in it by posthumous testing of several area children.
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