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Gonsuave Day

A day for lovers to send each other overpriced candy and cards, it has nearly become an industry unto itself, at least for the Granny Goodness Confectionery Company.

The day was originally started by those who had experienced the master lovemaking of Gonsuave Giovelli, this is a day for love. People send each other Gonsuave Cards, brightly decorated notes with poems inside, to each other. The cards themselves are traditionally decorated with Pixlies, birds, and hearts.

Ironically, a census showed that 70% of all non-married couples in Battal break up approximately 2 weeks before Gonsuave Day. The majority of the world spends the day in absolute and total misery, gorging themselves on chocolate and wishing they could have a date for the day just once.

Food

A special note should be made about the food commonly exchanged for Gonsuave Day. Gonsuave Candy comes in two different varieties - black chocolate, which is delicious - and chalk pixlies.

Chalk Pixlies are quite possibly the most disgusting confectionery ever imagined. The substance they are made of is not fully known, but most experts agree it is the rotting bones of some unfortunate rodent. Chalk Pixlies taste like . . . slightly sweet chalky bone meal. They are shaped in the crude form of Pixlies and have cutesy, unoriginal, loveydovey sayings painted on them in semi-edible ink.

No one knows why they feel compelled to buy them each year and hand them out, even though they are horrible in every way imaginable. Conspiracy Theorists have suggested that the Granny Goodness Confectionery Company is actually made up of a shadowy group of evil Elemenstors who have discovered a nefarious element known as Marketing, which is a more powerful and evil version of Brainmanglement.