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James Langomedes rumors

The legendary director of the Wizbits cartoon and general all-around good, if somewhat eccentric, guy, has spawned a host of bizarre movements and ideas. Included are:

• James Langomedes introduced subliminal messaging into all of the episodes of The Wizbits Cartoon. The sequence was going to be completed in the fourth season, but since that never came around, nobody will know what the effects would have been.

• The Wizbits was JL's idea entirely; the Japanese TV show was ripped from some of the stuff he'd talked about over dinner with a now-former Japanese friend in the anime industry. What's on The Wizbits is exactly what we were supposed to see, Doodle and all.

• James Langomedes has an evil twin going by the initials A.M. He (she?) is somewhat obscure and mysterious, and may know more about JL's coma than anyone else.

• James is not in a coma, but has suffered sleeping sickness.

• James KNOWS where the beef is.

• James DOESN'T KNOW where the beef is.

• Well then where IS the beef, hmmm, Mr. Smarty Pants?

• Wouldn't you LIKE to KNOW? Ask Tycho.

• James isn't in a coma; he's sending his mind out to explore the real Battal, and will return when he sees what happens in the Ending Times so that he may reveal the truth to his inner circle, the Langoites.

• Tycho Brahe took the writing credit for the first three Saga books, but James wrote 'em, and the same with books 10, 11, and 12.

• Langomedes is a high ranking member of The Disilluminati, which would explain why he allowed The Wizbits English version to be so bad.

• Langomedes took all those body-warping drinks and drugs because he knows a school of magic that lets him get power from abusing himself.

• James Langomedes and Patrick Stewart are blood enemies and have been since they first met. Stewart is making contingencies for when Langomedes wakes up.

• A brief scuffle with Mark Hamill is a contributory factor to Langomede's coma.

• James's evil departed from his body after the coma and now resides in the Anti-James.

• James's mystic self is flying through space and having adventures.

• An astral duel for the fate of Elemenstor Gearstrike will occur exactly one hour before the first episode airs, and will continue until only one of the participants (James, Anti-James, Ottoman Without Pity, Alexi Chandler, and an aggressive sausage) remains.

• James Langomedes is dead and has reincarnated as a kitten with a Hitler mustache, and communicates through Morse code. It is through Morse code that he will code the new century Wizbits cartoon.

• Langomedes is still at large; his identical twin, hidden in an attic since birth, is the one in bed. It is believed that the real Langomedes is going on a wild adventure throughout the world under the guise of Spring-Heeled Jack, fire-breathing crime-fighter out of the Victorian age penny dreadfuls and back, "in living color," in the modern day.

• Langomedes spent three days in a mountain motel with L H Franzibald, as recounted in Appendix A of The Disilluminati: The Conspiracy to Trash the Elemenstor Cycle.