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King Sc'rch'drth and his Miserable Groaning Howling Death

Popular drinking song in the bars of Battal. Featured in Book 8 of The Elemenstor Saga.

The ballad is one of many to describe the death of King Sc'rch'drth at the hands of the 200 assassins. It begins not with the first, but with the 174th assassin, who in his hurry to stab the king split the royal keg, because it was with this blow that the King lost all spirit to fight and became truly Miserable. From there it proceeds in reverse order down to the hundredth assassin, and then jumps back forward to the 183rd, describes the following ten, and then loops back to the very first. At this point the ballad gives an elaborate backstory of the first assassin's lover, the 45th assassin, and depicts their tragic romance in tones more befitting a bodice ripper than a proper drinking song, which is to say it abandons the terse and witty couplet form (one rhyming couplet for each assassin's strike) in favor of lilting free verse. Nonetheless, out of tradition this section is never omitted in any singing of the song.

After the interlude, the assassins numbers two through forty-four receive their due, including the popular favorite number thirty-one, who in a drunken stupor fell over and stabbed the king in the neck with a spoon. The balled then returns to its orginal pattern of citing the assassins in reverse, starting now from ninety-nine and stopping at fifty. The 175th assassin then enters, followed by his seven brothers, assassins and enemies all. Each of these assassins receives three couplets instead of the usual one, as the story of how they each came to join rival assassin guilds requires some explanation.

From here the ballad shifts to a eight line stanza with an AB rhyme, and remains in that form until its conclusion. It moves back once again to the assassins forty-six through forty-nine. These are considered to be the dullest of the assassins and every balladeer dreads their approach. However, once he has got through them, only the final seven remain. Each of their stanzas exceeds the one that came before it in terms of drama and excitement, until the final, riveting lines bring the song to its breath-taking conclusion.

The Full Lyrics