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Item Law #99

Transcendental Item Law

1. There shall be no item created that transcends, willfully or otherwise, the boundaries of what codifies an item. Namely, an item cannot cease being, say, an Artichoke of Considerable Power, and suddenly become love itself, or for that matter any metaphysical concept. Who do you think you are, making an item like that? Shame on you.
1. The actual classification of item is open to some debate. Apparently, many people who are in romantic relationships refer to the couple as an 'item'. The original proposer of this law, never having had a girlfriend, wouldn't know that.
2. Also, there shall from now on be no conversations within the legal scriptures, nor weenie-faced insults cast at the noble Lawmakers.
1. Rats.