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MLB

Page history last edited by Answer Blip 14 years, 1 month ago

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MLB

History

 

MLB is an acronym for Manslaughter League of Battal. This league employes the most skilled, popular, and egotistical Gladiatingors.

 

The MLB was started in 21000 to mark the beginning of the new millenium. It quickly became a big success, drawing larger and larger crowds to Maiming Arenas and, in short, bringing the sport of Manslaughtering aka Gladiating from it's former spot as a niche sport and into the mainstream. Much of the boost in popularity can be attributed not only to better management and advertising, but also to the emergence of famous players like Gore-Eating Gabe Gallagher with his unheard of 500 RBI, Salistrabulthamulastabathuklyllia Ebersuvaciatorrpulp who batted 400 in three seasons and Baberic Ruthless with his record-breaking 60 home runs. For the first time, it was big money to sponsor events in which men with impressive swords and imposing physiques fought eachother to bloody submission ("Manslaughering" is a misnomer, the event's content is better represented by the name of the locale in which it takes place, the "Maiming" arena).

 

Predictably, when the profit potential of the sport was realized, other leagues began to pop up. Strange misfortune befell these competitors at a statistically impropable rate. Unfortunately, the world may never have any clue about why all those managers ended up decapitated, or with large, sword-shaped wholes in their guts, and the occasional mace-shaped dent in their skulls... It's just one of those things, I guess.

 

Currently, the MLB is facing scandal with a large number of allegations of Stairoyd abuse amongst its foremost players.

 

Rules and Regulations

 

An official season of MLB is 180 games per team in addition to the play-offs and ultimate championship known as the Penant.

 

The MLB is also known for keeping large numbers of statistics associated with play. These statistics are sometimes termed "saber metrics".

A home run is scored every time a Gladiatingor wins within the first half of an inning, without having to go on to the second half.

RBI stands for Really Big Index, and represents the average weight of the player's bottom-half armor and weapon in tosses (see Weights and Measures)

Batting Average is how many blows the player makes which are not parried over how many he makes total times one thousand

Bases Stolen is an obtuse way of saying how many times the Gladiatingor had sex after a given game, and is not _officially_ recorded by the MLB

etc.

 

Every game of Manslaughting sponsored by the MLB is moderated by three Umpires. The first, the Low Umpire, watches for basic fouls and uncouth play, such as biting, kicking, and distracting squealing (often this results in debates about how it was 'just a warcry'). The second, the Greater Umpire, watches for illegal enchantments upon weapons and armor, as well as any other sort of subtle Elemenstor interference. The third, the Holy Roaming Umpire, watches for something unknown. It is said that in all MLB history a Holy Roaming Umpire has only ever spoken once, when Alex Battlestaffriguez committed a foul so Unspeakable (see The Unspeakable) that his opponent was unable to do anything but scream for several weeks afterwards and never really quite recovered. Alex Battlestaffriguez was banned from the league soon after.

 

Discussion

Though I try to be as comprehensive as I can, everything related to the MLB and the sport of Manslaughtering itself needs a lot of information added.

"Currently, the MLB is facing scandal with a large number of allegations of Stairoyd abuse amongst its foremost players." When is currently, exactly? It's not like the ELotH universe is happening concurrently with ours. It's all history...

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