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Million Year War

Page history last edited by Niall Keegan 17 years, 9 months ago

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Million Year War

 

The Million Year War was the thousand year long bloodbath that caused the creation of the Chasm of Eternal Sorrow. The best description of this war takes place in the Evolution of Eternal Sorrow graphic novel series, but even there facts are scarce. The main players in the war and locations are never named, however, the fighting seems to have started due to The Horseless Nomads of the Chasm wanting free horses from a wonderous kingdom. The result, however, was frenzied fighting in the Chasm for a thousand years, ending when the unnamed king asked the spirits of hatred within to give to whomever could enter with kindness and peace the power to change the world.

Many have wondered why the Million Year War is named as it is, seeing as it lasted only a thousand years. The only hint we have to this comes from an episode of The Wizbits from the third season. Entitled Where is that Pesky Chasm?, one of the books they use when researching the location of the Chasm is The War That Lasted A Million Years by one Seer Liebchek. Penny, putting the book down, casually mentions that the good seer "should have payed more attention in math class." Most believe that this suggest that this Seer Liebchek was only one to chronicle this war, and got the math totally wrong.

 

An alternative explanation for this mis-naming is that the creation of the Chasm of Eternal Sorrow by the Darkrift, which both precedes and follows the formation of the Chasm, caused nothing whatsoever to happen for millenia, extending the phenomenological experience of the war without actually expanding its duration. The happening of nothing may have created a very large and dark rift in the fabric of timenes itself. This theory is generally corroborted by references to the very same episode of the Wizbits, Where is that Pesky Chasm?, which features some overlong, unexplained shots of MooMaa's Darkrift Fedora, followed by shots of Seer Liebchek staring blankly, followed by shots of the Darkrift Fedora, from which the overlaying monologues have apparently been eliminated.

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