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Pizzlewali

Page history last edited by PBworks 17 years, 2 months ago

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Pizzlewali

 

Pizzlewali is an ancient dispute resolution custom practiced exclusively in Pizzlemoore, in the kingdom of Mandleclang. There are no courts in Pizzlemoore, as Pizzlewali is considered sufficient to settle any disputes.

 

In all cases, the defendant and plaintiff will compete in the ancient Pizzlathlon, which combines shoecraftsmanship, salad preparation skill, and foot racing ability in a competition which takes several hours and frequently ties up one or more of the main thoroughfares of the city. It is highly unusual that more than five cases are tried on any given day.

 

The Pizzlathlon is overseen by a/the Mayeur, whose Town Hat must be snatched at the end of the footracing segment. Contestants are judged on overall points by the Pizzlewali Panel, the seats on which are hereditary.

 

Any leftover points are usually distributed to the gallery, which can later redeem them for useless trinkets or mustard seed.

 

In criminal cases, the city prosecutor is allowed to attack the defendant up to three times with a clock of his choosing (note that the defendant can only be attacked once per segment of the Pizzlathlon, however).

 

If a certain minimum combined point total is not met, the case is usually thrown out due to insufficient evidence. Usage of olives in the salads usually causes a mistrial.

 

Canonicity

Pizzlewali was described in great detail in Book 9 in an interminable, stream-of-counsciousness monologue by the character Dogus (possibly not to be confused with Dogus Brankorking, of Book 3 through Book 6 (see: The Confusion)), while he was supposedly in an Epic Fugue State of Utter Truth after overdosing on crab.

 

There is thus some dissention as to whether or not Pizzlewali is canonically true, but the general consensus is that since Dogus is said explicitly to be speaking (or thinking, or dreaming, but that's another discussion) 'Utter Truth', that Pizzlewali is an actual custom in Pizzlemore. Moreover, it is nowhere stated that Dogus never had an opportunity to learn about Pizzlewali in his backstory, which circumvents the arguments of those who claim he could not possibly have been gifted with knowledge beyond his experience simply by eating too much crab.

 

Unfortunately, there is some further confusion as to whether Dogus himself is a real character, a living memory of Dogus Brankorking, or a figment of the reader's imagination. It can nevertheless be determined with some accuracy, given the 'Utter Truth' mentioned above, that Brahe intended Pizzlewali to be canonical.

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