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Quelemendi

Page history last edited by PBworks 17 years, 2 months ago

Back to Games and Sports

 

Quelemendi

 

One of the more interesting products of the friendship between the Quilp and Arildi races is the age-old board game of Quelemendi, referred to by fans as the chess of Battal.

 

The game of Quelemendi is played by two or more players, each controlling a set of pieces representing one element. Each element not only has its own starting area on the board (each traditionally being illustrated with a relevant thing or concept) but also its own ruleset and win condition or conditions - playing as any one element is radically different to playing as any other.

 

There are two forms of the game - Standard Quelemendi, which features only the Primary and Secondary elements (nine in total, including Ice), and Master Quelemendi, featuring every single known element. The board is subsequently much larger and more complex and the ruleset is gigantic.

 

Due to the ever-changing sphere of knowledge concerning the elements, the Quelemendi Council (comprising mostly of Quilp and Arildi and including Quilpda, Quilpa, Quilpboi and ostensibly Quilpo, although he isn't too bright) is responsible for the updating of the rulesets (usually the Master ruleset) to match all elemental knowledge as closely as possible. This is what enables the addition of newly discovered and recognized elements, for example. The Council also ensures that the game is always balanced, and that no element has unfair power over any other.

 

Although the four aforementioned Quilp gods are not usually treated as such (except for Quilpo, the oddly likeable mindless destroyer who utterly fails at destroying), their annual Quelemendi Game of the Gods (Master Quelemendi, natch), held in Quilpopolis, is a popular attraction for Quilp, Arildi and tourists alike, more for entertainment value than any religious signifigance (Quilpda quite likes this, and Quilpboi doesn't mind, but Quilpa isn't happy about it and Quilpo has a habit of grunting and looking in the direction of anyone who chuckles). Indeed, these four-way games are, at times, quite amusing, especially when Quilpa loses or otherwise has problems. A classic must-see is when the players choose their elements. Quilpda, Quilpboi and Quilpa always give proper, in-depth reasons for their choices, but Quilpo always just grunts "Stream". If someone in the crowd requests an explanation (which always happens), Quilpo is obliged to elucidate, which is always amusing.

 

Notable gameplay rules and concepts

 

The Unspeakable is playable in the Master version of the game, but only when the player is under the influence of at least one sufficiently mind-altering drug. The player may make whatever moves he or she, in his or her presently warped state of mind, thinks are acceptable. The times at which these moves are made are also subject to the player's demented whim. The home area of The Unspeakable is colored solid black, as are its pieces.

 

Ned also somehow manages to be a playable element. Its rules (including home area and piece designs) are changed for each revision of the game by a vote held in Quilpopolis and the surrounding Quilp villages.

 

Epic has only one piece. But what a fucking piece. God damn.

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