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Quilpism

Page history last edited by PBworks 17 years, 5 months ago

Back to Religions of Battal

Quilpism

Pronunciation keyQu-ilp-ism
Object of worshipQuilpma
Holy textQuilpon
Main HolidayQuilpay
Stance on Partial Birth AbortionsOnly for cows.

 

 

Beliefs

The religion of the Quilps, Quilpism has no formalized dogma. However, Quilpists are expected to follow certain customs. Among those are a great respect for peace, the avoidance of anything that could lead to chaos, and the use of a very uncreative naming system. They believe that when Quilpma died giving birth to Quilpboi sharp quills from her body fell off to form the world, the longest to form Mount Wor. Quilpism recognized also a number of lesser deities including Quilpa, Quilpo, Quilpda, and Quilpamu. Interestingly, Quilpboi, Quilpa and Quilpda are physical beings who, although they are most definitely gods, live normal and productive lives in Quilpopolis. Indeed, they are not even revered very much by Quilpists, who only really worship Quilpma. These living gods are understandably tight-lipped about the accuracy of certain Quilpistic beliefs, such as the formation of the world, because religious upheaval is messy.

 

One of the primary tenets of the religion is that cows are to be massacred as often as possible and in the most brutal ways imaginable, due to Quilpma's noted and oddly pronounced hatred of bovines. The primary occasion for the slaughter is the thrice monthly holiday of Quilpay, or whenever. The Quilp, in fact, vaguely regulate their slaughter, so that they don't immediately run out of cows (and thus shoe leather).

 

History

Nothing of note has ever happened to the Quilpist religion, save for their ongoing holocaust directed against cows, which is not typically thought of as a holocaust because the holocausted are, in fact, cows.

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