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Rothgar Sydrome

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Rothgar Syndrome

A form of stupidity that occurs when the Epicness of elements of the ELotH:TES universe overwhelms readers and writers. The syndrome comes in two specifc varieties: the fan form and the writer form.

 

The fan form pertians specifically to Rothgar The While-Not-Great-Certainly-Not-Forgettable and began three years ago on an obscure internet forum where someone posted a thread of jokes about how awesome The Undisputed Rothgar was. Soon the forum was clogged with thousands of jokes. Later sufferers of the syndrome told these jokes endlessly in the chat of the FPS Elemenstorer, no matter how much others tried to shut them up.

 

One of these jokes:

When the U.N. weapon inspectors searched Iraq they didn't find any nerve gas, uranium, or anthrax. They found just one thing: a poster of ROTHGAR! Needless to say there was a war.

 

The writer's form refers to any situation where the writer's work gets entirely away from them. This typically leads to events that greatly conflict with cannon, events too implausible for a seven year old to accept, or out and out porn. Two examples of such writing are as follows:

 

"Sure your hat is better then mine," replied Rothgar "but at least I have somewhere to wear mine!"

Confused, the noble opened his mouth to speak. Only to have his words cut off as Rothgar lobbed his head clean off with a crumpet.

The noble's body guards rushed Rothgar. Rothgar grabed the first guard and ripped him in half like a phonebook and used the two halfs to beat, like a thousand, soldiers to death the then drank a twelve pack of mead (kegs) and impregnated every woman in the castle.

 

- Work of a now fired ghost writter from the Chronicles of the Magic Sword Kings

... and so the dancing competition ended. Both L'etla and the defeated challenger Ti'kithahal stood wet with sweat and heaving for breath.

"You were good" L'etla intoned, "but not good enough." Too good to throw her into a volcano, yet the challenge had been made and something had to be thrown into a volcano. "Take all her possestions and toss them into the volcano."

And so Ti'kithahal's hut and everything in it were tossed into the volcano. The queen's sand maiden guards even took her clothes, despite her great squirming when the maidens had to wrestle them off of her.

 

- Published as a short story and the only literairy content in issue # 24 of ELotH:TES Magazine. However after several read thoughs and two boxes of tissues the publishers at Realmworlds Publishing decided that "while not containing any overt sexuality, comes off as way too dirty to be part on the main ELotH:tES universe."

Comments (1)

Anonymous said

at 7:59 pm on Mar 15, 2006

haha!

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