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Stefarina the Vile Temptress

Stefarina the Vile Temptress was a Dark Brickabracker named for creating vile mayhem and temptation throughout Battal. She was famous for five things.

1. Vile Temptoring (Which included wearing many tempting outfits.)
2. Pioneering Furniliar Gestalts.
3. Creating twisted Furniliars in general; who came in three varieties, evil, hilarious and hilariously evil.
4. Always working alone.
5. The Cult of the Lesser Viles: A group of unwanted and unacknowledged followers of the Vile Temptress.

Early Life

Stefarina existed between the period The Lost Factions of the Unknown Misgivings and era of The Four Underdogs. She was born in the year 18,787 by most accounts, an approximation should be taken with a grain of salt I suppose because many of the people giving the accounts are either very dead or very drunk.

Stefarina showed a minor bit of aptitude for Stream Elemenstoring at a young age. With some considerable training by the age of 17 she had become quite adept at the art. It is not exactly clear why Stefarina turned to Dark Elemenstoring, but she did at about the age of 19. Some say it was because she was disappointed in the lull history had placed her in, so she sought to make some more interesting history in its place. Others claim it was because she had a chip on her shoulder over the way Stream Elemenstors were viewed. Sagacious the Smart once famously said about Stream Elemenstors, "Pussies". This appraisal quite commonly held by the majority of people. As a result Stefarina took it upon her self to show Battal that a pussy she was not.

Vile Temptoring

While some Dark Elemenstors were bent on world domination or ruling a continent or nation, Stefarina was not. Some claim that because she was a Stream Elemenstor, and thus characterized as a, "lazy underachiever", she was just trying to avoid the work involved in world domination. Stefarina how ever claimed she'd simply rather sow random chaos and that she simply didn't want to have to deal with the logistics involved with world domination.

 Stefarina always worked alone, discounting her evil furniliars, she explained her position on this quirk once in a rare interview.

“When a villian employs a large organization or army they end up with scads of incompetent underlings, who are eventually responsible for total destruction of their leader in the end. There's just so much to worry about, what with logistics, training, betrayals, defections, executing incompetent officers and lieutenants, promoting and interviewing officers and lieutenants to replace the ones just recently executed. I could go on all day with the problems that armies and such bring upon the leader. So I subscribe to the maxim, 'If you want something done right, do it yourself.' I merely want everything done right all the time.”

When Stefarina wasn’t off Dark Elemenstoring and Vile Temptoring she was at her modestly sized castle known as The Castle of Modesty, named as such for tax reasons and to make any attempts by Dark Elemenstor Hunters to find her 79% less successful. Although the basis for this statistic is unknown and may be total bunk.

Cult of the Lesser Viles

Stefarina developed contempt for just about everyone and everything. However despite this some people thought it would be a good idea to start a fan club of sorts and follow her around. Speculation on the exact reasons why such a club started, given Stefarina's position on the matter, "Who are these people!? Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!", remain until this day.

The fan club eventually turned into a loyal following, which soon developed into a full blown and ridiculous cult. The cult came to be known as the Cult of the Lesser Viles, members were known simply as the Lesser Viles. Stefarina neither liked nor acknowledged the cult that claimed her as their leader. Suggesting that it was “her cult” would surely bring swift death to the suggester. To say Stefarina hated the Lesser Viles would be as much of an understatement as saying, "The Sun sure is hot".

Stefarina would invariably try and ignore the Lesser Viles and just go about her business. But every so often the Lesser Viles would muck things up trying to help (the help was always unwanted and unasked for) which would drive Stefarina into a terrible rage. She would usually slaughter the whole lot of Lesser Viles, hoping that would be the end of the matter once and for all. However it seemed that each slaughtering somehow actually attracted scores of new members who, "Wanted to see what all the fuss was about". This of course speaks volumes about the low overall mental quality of the cult and justified Stefarina's stance on always working alone. Stefarina found she was in an irksome paradox when it came to slaughtering the cult. So Stefarina chose to ignore the paradox most of the time because it usually made her head hurt. So slaughtering the Lesser Viles became a matter of routine, much like Spring Cleaning.

Aside from the First Slaughtering of Lesser Viles (notable because it was the first), the Sixth Slaughtering of Lesser Viles is of note because Stefarina carried it out in an apparent bout of sleepwalking. As a result it’s Stefarina’s personal least favorite slaughter simply because she slept through the whole event, quite soundly despite the legendary volume of wailing, begging, pleading and screams of suffering. It is documented that the Sixth Slaughtering was 29% louder than the next loudest Slaughtering by people who keep track of useless information.

A Brief Period of Romance

When she was in her early twenties Stefarina the Vile Temptress briefly settled down and married a man who by all accounts was as good as they come. In fact people wondered what he was thinking, although not so many woman wondered as they assumed it had something to do with (at the time scandalous and immoral) tempting outfits. Stefarina eventually fed him to the Door of Eternal Slamming for being "a good for nothing kind hearted pest". The marriage lasted a scant two days and was chalked up to nothing in particular. There was a noted drop off of chaos during those two days which started up the practice of offering up unattached young men to Steferina. However these young men were usually the dregs of the region and were more often then not directed to the back door of the castle, which was the current home for the Door of Eternal Slamming.

As one of the notable events of Stefarina's life it was subject to much myth and rumor. For example:

1. Stefarina kept her late husbands skull to put knick knacks in.
2. Stefarina didn't actually kill her husband, she  just claimed that she did to keep her reputation up.
3. Stefarina never actually married, it was just a clever ruse that never panned out with any sort of useful results.

Stefarina's Furniliars

Many of Stefarina’s Furniliars where well know for their tempting natures, high body counts and penchant for mayhem.

Some of Stefarina’s most well known furniliars are:

• The Murderous Bag
• The Pants of Random Invisibility
• The Door of Eternal Slamming
• The Boots of Making You Leap Off a Cliff
• The Salami Sandwhich of Shenda

Not all of Stefarina’s Furniliars were lethal. The Pants of Random Invisibility never killed anyone. However many a wearer simply wished they could crawl into a corner and die because of them, which some would argue is even worse than death. The dead would disagree, but they would, wouldn't they? Always a contrary lot the dead are.

Furniliar Gestalts

Stefarina also pioneered the art of Furniliar sets or gestalts, The Murderous Bag and the Drawstring of Killing were an early experiment in the development of Furniliar Gestalts. The Murderous Bag held a special place in Stefarina’s heart because of it's sinister nature and (at the time) revolutionary design. However when the Murderous Bag and the Drawstring of Killing were split apart each part was practically useless. Later gestalts were designed to be a little more robust if seperated.

Well known Furniliar Gestalts:

• Crushing Knowledge
• Machinamathing

Legacy

Stefarina the Vile Temptress disappeared in ~18,830, about 25 years after her one temptress campaign began.

There is some mystery as to what actually happened to Stefarina when she disappeared. Some claim she was killed in a glorious battle with 50 to 1 odds against her, but such a battleground has never been discovered, when questioned about it supporters of this theory usually reply, "It happened just over yonder". Other theorists suggest that maybe she was a victim of a clever trap involving timesorc'ley that sent her to who knows when. So no one knows where she went or where she ended up and that's simply nerve racking to most people. This is why even centuries later the custom of punching a sweet looking girl in the nose for offering you a free pair of pants or a mysterious bag is still practiced in most parts of Battal, just in case.

ELotH:TES Magazine Art

Model/dancer Ivana Dashevsky poses as Stefarina for Issue # 09

Fan Art

Stefarina the Vile Temptress in a particularly tempting outfit.