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The Hat of Trousers

The Hat of Trousers has an unusual design - two long, thin tubes protrude from it and dangle over the wearer's back, protecting it from attack. The tubes also spin in the air via the application of Centripetal Acceleration should the wearer quickly turn their head from one side to another.

Not to be confused with The Gormless Trousers of Unpenitrable Glee