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The Ultra Super Hyper Mega Wonder Twin Joy Death Battle Rod of Many Prefixes

The Rod of Many Prefixes is a wooden rod that is always the exact length of the bearer's left leg.

It is said to contain the essence of pure Epic-ness, but unfortunately, the bearer must utter its full name (containing 36 prefixes) to unleash the Epic-ness lying dormant within the weapon.

Therefore, the rod is widely regarded as being utterly useless in combat. However, this is not the case, as sharpening one end of the rod will turn it into a Pointy Stick, a suitable tool for dealing with Pink Dyemons.

The Rod was crafted by a High Elemenstor with a dark sense of humour (his name escapes my memory at present) and sold to an unfortunate man who was torn to shreds by a band of Red Dragons as he attempted to invoke the rod's powers.