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The Cowfall Prophecies

Written by Verix the Thrice-Damned in his youth, as depicted in Scriveners of Time's Last Moon. After being found sodomizing a cow at the sexually frustrated age of 14, Verix went on to accuse all bovines of being the figureheads in a vast conspiracy to explain away his actions. As time went on, it became more and more muddled as to how much of the convoluted excuses Verix himself actually believed.

The result of this chain of events was the Cowfall Prophecies, attempting to explain away the Meteoric Cow phenomenon as a conspiracy started by Navrid prior to the Siege of Trembaloo. Navrid, he went on to say, was actually an immortal space lizard in disguise, and originated from the interior of one of Battal's moons. Navrid had previously started the religion of Fgsfds (which forbids the eating of cows) as an elaborate scheme to help his bovine conspirators take over the planet. Cows, he argued, were actually a type of mechanical extra-terrestrial life-form whose goal was to conquer the world through slow integration and then by methodically killing and replacing political and religious leaders with carefully trained and surgically altered apes.

It got weirder from then on.

The ridicule he suffered from this chain of events is often cited as the reason Verix became a Dark Elemenstor and started serving the Dyemon Phgoorikus, whose ghost pledged to rid Battal of all cows and minotaur after Verix resurrected him.

Surprisingly later analysis of the book showed that some of its theories were inline with the theory that noted crackpot astrolonomer Orwin Gernal proposed for the Geotelespacial Fractarent and Planet C. Also surprising was the remarkable accuracy that Verix perdicted for timing of the "shower of a million bovines", otherwise known as The Great Reseating.