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The Griffled Duck

Page history last edited by API administrator user 14 years, 7 months ago

Back to The Inns and Taverns of Battal

Back to Shield Locations

 

The Griffled Duck

 

Slogan: "One duck, griffled."

 

The Griffled Duck is an infamous haunt of the Wasted Elemenstors, it can be recognised by the hand-painted sign showing a rather surprised and offended looking fowl, and by the odour of vomit and urine.

 

Its ales are legendary for their ability to make ale-lovers cry. Legend fails to mention that the tears are not those of joy. Also legendary is the pub privy. Brave men have been known to wet themselves rather than venture into the dank, steaming confines of the Griffled Duck's privy, which has been known to spontaneously catch fire on dry nights and burn with a blue flame. Perhaps this is due to the establishment being popular with elves who suffer from Blasteroids, especially Fllustoril the Exiled Elf.

 

Excessive minor elemenstation on the premises has caused a certain amount of instability of the fabric of space-time. Patrons entering the Griffled Duck are occasionally temporally displaced, emerging several hours later dazed and confused, with no memory of ever entering the building at all. Fortunately this phenomenon quite closely matches the effects of excessive consumption of alcohol and is rarely noticed.

 

What precisely "griffling" is remains a matter of etymological dispute. Some trace the term to the Dwarven word gifr, or large drinking mug.* How this applies to a duck is not entirely clear, but dwarven Griffled Duck regular Fraverik the Surly will beat you unconscious if you mention this linguistic conundrum in his presence.

 

Others of a more scholastic bent have found a possible origin among the culinary practices of the Ecreekem, who do not "eat" or "cook" so much as they "beat repeatedly with a large stick." Khlifling generally involves the use of an oaken bludgeon, unpeeled, approximately 5 inches thick. Strokes should be short, but firm. This theory is supported by the misshapen duck depicted on the shingle hanging over the tavern door, though it is arguable that the artist was merely very drunk.

 

The Gigglemen of Vi claim that "to griffle" is to make a farm animal wear a hat, usually for purposes of sexual intercourse. However, no one pays any attention to the Gigglemen of Vi.

 

This is also one of the favorite stops of The Brotherhood of the Wardrobe.

 

It is the site of an important scene in Book 3, in which Bendloyer Felkin first recounts the poem of The Bravery of the Doomed.

 

*To dwarves, properly defined as a vessel large enough to bathe in. Larger than a khavk, smaller than a beznov.

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