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Vaxin the Tiny

Early Life

Originally described in Tycho Brahe's epic poem on The Longest Moment (see The Rise and Fall of Minuschitae), we first see Vaxin as a plucky child in the itself quite tiny kingdom of Minuschitae.

After seeing her entire family and, indeed, her entire people struck down by The Minupalypse Vaxin pulled herself up by the boot-straps and endeared herself to the mysterious Yar the Sorcerial, who had let slip at a Minuschitaen square dance that he might know a way to escape the Minupalypse. After escaping to Battal through Yar's portal however, Vaxin took her leave of Mr. the Sorcerial and after discovering the extent of his role in the destruction of her homeland the two soon became mortal enemies.

It was during her early years in Battal that Vaxin earned her somewhat ironic "Tiny" moniker. Vaxin had, in fact, been unusually tall for a girl her age in Minuschitae. When she found herself telesorc'led to Battal, she became exactly 140 squith tall. Though this was a rather small size for a woman of Battal, considering her previous stature, the name "Vaxin the Enormously Huge" would perhaps have been more fitting, though less charming.

Adult life

In Book 13 and a Half we rejoin Vaxinat the age of twelve as she begins her adventuring career, which will take her through the Spica Wars.

Having already aquired the Inexhaustible Set of Throwing Knifes during her time in Minuschitae she set about aquiring more weapons. It doesn't take her long before the legendary twin daggers, Sharp and Pointy also came into her possession. While chivalry forbids throwing weapons, most grown men fighting extremely small twelve year old girls really aren't all that concerned with chivalry. At some point around this period she also aquired the Rubber Pleasure Blade of the Nether Regions, which those same full grown men were markedly more concerned about.

When she was 15 she formed her own band of adventurers; being a rather attractive, if diminunitive, young woman and suspected nymphomaniac (see The Wenching Hour) in the almost entirely male occupation of warrioring she became very popular and her band swelled in size until she reorganized it into an itinerant army in 9481. During this period Vaxin had many advenutres, during one of which she met Osmond the Ottoman with whom she had a torrid affair.

In her adventure What the Quilp? she meets her later husband Rothgar of the 72 Titles (known posthumously for his hundred titles). They married in 9485 and forged the Albrosian Alliance to serve as a bastion of rogueish good intentions during the Spica Wars. She died with her husband Rothgar, Martyr of the Alliance fighting Yar the Sorcerial in 9519.

Descendants

Vaxin birthed her first child, Meekthorg the Wee, at 17. Meekthorg was the product of a sexual misadventure with Osmond the Ottoman and the very first of the Furnished race. While Meekthorg was still young Vaxin and Osmond (who had never had more of a relationship then a brief fling) had a bitter falling out, resulting in Osmond kidnapping Meekthorg and raising him away from Vaxin in the Ottoman court.

Later when she was 19 she had a very brief affair with a witch-elf (see Erotic Stories below). This actually resulted in Vaxin fathering a child. Nobody is quite sure how this happened as little is known about witch-elf biology (or minuschitian for that matter). However Vaxin was as surprised as anybody to discover that she was a father.

After she married Rothgar the two had six children, who, due to their parentage, where given titles upon or shortly after birth. They were Alexis the Two-Months Late, Ebon the Incessant Crier, Adrianna Whose Teething Left Scars, Me'ak Whose Name Was The Cause of Much Family In-Fighting, Rothgar Junior Whose Life Will Not Be Easy and Robert Who Likes Cheese. The children grew up to be somewhat notable people, however not quite as epic as their parents, possibly due to their somewhat un-impressive early titles.

Erotic Stories

It goes without saying that she is the subject of a large amount of erotic fanfiction. Most notably: "The Unwilling Armchair", "The Greased Ooamp Pile" and "Tyrants of the Rear". Vaxin was also the subject of the canon erotic story The Wenching Hour. It was set during her confused college years and involved a witch-elf lesbian lover and the Rubber Pleasure Blade of the Nether Regions. Its total lack of Furnication, reverse ear-jobs, or unspeakable sexual acts makes it appear entirely wholesome relative to the erotic fanfiction about her.

Fan Art