Back to The Temptations of the Bix the End Table, and other tales

What the Quilp?

A zanily complicated story telling the events surrounding the mettings of Quilpma and Quilpda, as well as Vaxin the Tiny and Rothgar the Husband of Vaxin.

The tale begins as Vaxin is contracted by Quilpma to destroy a large cow population. This brings her into conflict with a local Mud Farmer and the conflict is brought before The Earl of James-Jones. However it turns out that The Earl of James-Jones was really Rothgar Who Was Pretender to the Title of Earl of James-Jones!

As the tale continues Rothgar is soon found out by the local deity who sentances Rothgar to community service sweeping the streets. When Vaxin discovered Rothgar sweeping the streets, Rothgar, worried that she would think less of him if she found out that he wasn't an earl, informed her that he was also the Earl of Sweeping Broom. That didn't really fly.

After a number of complex plot twists and Quilpma and Quilpda almost meeting a number of times the two finally run into each other. The two gods fall in love and instantly forget all thier grievances. Rothgar is forced to admit that he's not an earl (although he was once the Steward to the Earle of Steward, Earl Steward, but that's another story) and Vaxin reveals that she knew all along but was hidding the fact because she wanted people to think that a real earl had ruled in her favor. With all grievances forgotten the two happy couples part ways.

It is notable that this story is in direct conflict with the religious beliefs of the Quilp. However, Quilpma's family has always made a point of never confirming or denying any of these legends for fear of sparking religious upheaval, so this story may still be canonical.