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White Water
Everyone is familiar with the element of Ice and its inferior cousin, Water (NOTE: The "inferiority" of Water is a matter of personal opinion, and this statement may or may not be biased, unlike this note. Jackass.), but few know of the mysterious third form taken by the element: White Water. Although long considered nothing but water mixed with the cream that leaks from the Bay of Cream, it is discovered in Book 11 that it is in fact an elemental form of its own. It is then used to defeat Black Flame, who is lured into a deadly rafting match after he loses a "braggadacio bout".
The section involving White Water makes for some of the most painful reading in the entire Elemenstor saga, and may well have been a grudging parody of demands placed on Brahe by his publisher (White Water being an Italian ice sold by Realmworlds Delicious Freezees Inc). Arguments over its canonicity hinge on the question of whether it the writing is a true statement of Brahe's profound intentions for the universe, or what amounts to a "forced confession" made under duress. The section is, at least, mercifully short; the entire plot line of Black Flame occupies two pages. The discovery and application of White Water occupies a mere three paragraphs, most of which is a thinly disguised marketing ploy:
Of course muttered Gordel to himself, it's been in front of my eyes all of this time! The delicous freezee treats that I have long enjoyed, and enjoined so many others to enjoy, and purchase in bountiful supply, is the third form of water to which all of my calculations point! Fortunately, Black Flame is coming to "burn our chops" at the fifth annual braggadacio slam on the Bay of Cream this very evening. My investments, and those of anyone else canny enough to make immediate purchases of frozen treat stocks in the very near term, will go through the roof after this! And to think that I wasted all that time on modeling the behavior of markets, when I should've seen all that I need to do...buy up as much stock in frozen treats as I can! It will also help us to defeat this meddlesome elemental construct.
Gordel took his insights to his "boys" Arandar, Brotha Fuchs and Brotha Baer. After spitting some truly hot lyricism at the braggadacio slam, Arandar approached Black Flame, hollering, "Yo, you're pretty good at throwing words, but can you throw yourself on one of these lowfloating rafts? Let's get our race on!"
Not one too pass up a challenge, Black Flame leapt onto one of the rafts, burned it, and sank into the Bay of Cream forever. Where previous efforts to extinguish him had failed because his blackness created an endless reservoir for the water, the whiteness of the water simultaneously extinguished his blackness and his flame. The people of the Bay of cream rejoiced.
Comments
| I don't recall this one ever having an official symbol. Does anyone have the label from one of the old Realmworlds Delicious Freezees? That would probably be the closest thing to a symbol. |
| I wouldn't go with the RDFI logo. The slogan is something like "Froze-d Lard! of the Highest Qualitie" (sic). Rather out of place as a symbol for white water, if you ask me. -TychoCelchuuu |
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