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Wizeldon

The town of Wizeldon, known by many as the City of Great Wankery, is a long lost city in the Vale of An Amazing Amount of Wanktitude. Noted for its geography and its exquisite furniliars, Wizeldon was once a tourist location before becoming long lost. Tourists remarked that Wizeldon was a place where an inordinant amount of wankery went on; indeed, people performed this wankery openly in the streets, much to the horror of more conservative travelers.

Wizeldon was settled by the Wanks, a peaceful people who were said to have come from the east, perhaps from around Mt Savage Wang, although the Wanks were always quick to point out that they were in no way savage. Their favorite pasttime was Wankery, a sport considered brazen by many others that featured the use of an eggshapped "ball" that was called very unsportsmanlike by many other athletes. Indeed, the Wanks would annually hold a Wankery World Championship game; because no one else in the world performed wankery (wankery is performed and not played, as the Wanks consider it an art form), it was always Wanks vs. Wanks B-Team.

A disastrous year for Wizeldon and, indeed, all the world's Wanks, was the 1049.86b WC (Wank Calendar; this year coincides vaguely to year 18,304). The rare mint tea that the Wanks depended on for sustenance was discontinued by Hargie's! Tea Emporium, leaving them with only bitterwater and stale crackers. Known as the Year of an Inordinant Amount of Suffering, or YIAS, many Wanks became disastrously ill. Also, the Wanks B-Team finally won the Wankery World Championship, a feat they haven't replicated since. In the next year (1043.192xy), they discovered alcohol and so were saved from a particularly gruesome fate involving stomach worms.

With the introduction of alcohol, Wizeldon was on an upswing until it suddenly became lost. Its mayor, the Elemenstor Doozlefrag, was somehow instrumental in its becoming lost, although it is never specified how. Doozlefrag petitioned for Wizeldon to become one of the Very Lost Kingdoms, but his petition was rebutted. Thoroughly snubbed, Doozlefrag left to become a Dark Elemenstor, although he never became a Dark Wank or the even more feared Dark Wank Elemenstor.