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Universal Exomputation Molocules

According to Jacob Crimsey, "universal exomputation molocules" were harmful molecules of "spiritual decay" which were constantly being broadcast from all ELotH:TES-related products. This caused him to call for the aussie american act 2007 in January of that year before the UN, displaying his incredibly shaky and mostly absent understanding of international law. His only supporter of course, was Jack Thompson, his cousin.

Later, Crimsey was found with splinters the size of rats in his anus. The same fate has yet to befall Thompson, but it may only be a matter of time.