Battle of Near Competence


Back to Famous Battles

 

Battle of Near Competence

The penultimate battle between the Vampyre forces led by Vhadxi and the armies of men under the command of Throbald the Somewhat Addled during the Fumbling Offensive.

 

The battle of near competence was not a battle in the conventional sense because the armies were two thousand miles apart at the time. In the year 997 Throbald the Somewhat Addled attacked the Vampyre capital of Near Competance, only to find it deserted. His army had (as was routine in the Fumbling Offensive) passed the Vampyre army during the months it took them to reach Near Competance. This was no mean feat since both armies were marching in single file and using the same roads.

 

This left the Vampyres virtually uncontested in The Land of Thrown Fish, though the offensive continued for another two thoroughly embarrassing years. Eventually the Vampyres overthrew Throbald the Somewhat Addled, who had taken control of Near Competance and replaced him in an unpopular, bloodless coup with Frank the Breather who was neither a Vampyre nor a military leader. Frank was able to rally two factions of competing Vampyre gangs and took them out for a night of bowling. See the Ten-Pin Wars.