Back to Cheeses

Blade Cheddar

The sharpest cheese of Battal. Blade cheddar (often not capitalized like a proper name) is produced by Enriching Yaar Cheddar, a very common Battalian cheese. Blade cheddar is theoretically edible, although only those excelling in the fields of awesomeness, machismo and/or stupidity choose to do so. This is because blade cheddar is so unimaginably sharp that it is possible to cut yourself on a decillion-clospecscions diameter sphere of the stuff. It is also so incredibly hard that when diamonds even think about it, they wet themselves visibly. This is why bringing some blade cheddar near a diamond is the easiest way to acquire diamondpiss.

The most common uses of blade cheddar are in the creation of weapons, armor and other items. This is legal, as explicitly stated in Item Law 54. One of the most well-known such items is the Cheddarblade Cornuthaum, although had Randthral the Prognosticator made the cheese into an item representing pure Epic as part of a set of mythically powerful Ur-Ur-Element-themed cheese-based items, that item would have been the most famous blade cheddar-based item of them all. Alas, he never succeeded in making an item out of Space Cheese.