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Book excerpts

 

 

This is a gathering of links to actual text from the books, in case you are new to the saga and want a TASTE of the beautiful, flowing prose contained in the ELotH:TES.

 

It is important to note the you must SCROLL DOWN in order to find the book excerpts, as most are near the bottom.

 

Book excerpts The Elemenstor Cycle Book 1 Book 2 Book 3 Book 4 Book 5 Book 6 Book 7 Book 8 Book 9 Book 10 Book 11 Book 12 Book 13 The Harbinger Cycle HC Book 2 HC Book 3 ElemenstorLance The Elfin Factions Tetragy Mudlake, the Forester The Twilight Vampyres The Item Guild Wars Ronard Beknighted The Dawn of Unlight's Setting, Part 1: The Rise of Dusk The Dawn of Unlight's Setting, Part 2: Victory's Deathknell The Underdogs of Rubian The Misplaced Givings Perilous Circumstances (Novel) Players of Battal Cryoclasm on Aeropyre Peak Tides of Epic Conflict Saga Tides of Sicklemire Hopebane's Gambit The Winds of the Ultracraggoths Return to the Epic Sicklemire Dilemma Elemenstors of the Peninsula Presents The Lost Tales of Shattered Kelembad Other Elemenstor Literature Crystalcrown Chronicles Weighty Tome of Elemenstor The Temptations of the Bix the End Table, and other tales The Dark Side of Carry Curse of the Dark Master The Journey of Wolfgang Apprentice Tales of Yorn Countdown to Infinite Wizbits Broken Stool: Alchemical Boogaloo Submission: Dressentors ELotH: TES - Pen and Paper RPG Book of Lost Legendary Tales Other Elemenstor Productions Elemenstor Radio Dramas ElamenSTAR

 

The Elemenstor Cycle

Book 1

• Book 1: Contains an excerpt where Horatio flees his village, after what some interpretations read as destroying it.
• Parable of the Swimming Rabbit
• Mort and the Unusually Big Cow: Contains a brief except from that epic tale.
• Bibee: Contains excerpts where this character is speaking to Horatio.

 

Book 2

• Book 2: Contains an excerpt of the disputed but probable introduction of Grimfleur.
• Law 323: Contains an excerpt of the trial of Lextor the Vextor from Book 2.
• The Mighty and Merciless Magical Monkey King Staff: Includes an excerpt from Horatio's brief encounter with Heeroh Troughberry.
• Heeroh Troughberry: Contains the Epic final conflict between Zenethir Foulblade and the Troughberrys, Heeroh and Orphenna.
• Mort and the Earl of the Pirates
• Orphenna Troughberry: Contains an excerpt from a flashback in Chapter 19
• Mort and the Day Absoultely Nothing of Any Import Happened: Contains some dialog spoken by Orphenna.
• Dellberry: Contains an excerpt where a character explains that Dellberry is a spice not a berry.
• Chrome Garden: Contains an excerpt from when the Troughberrys first arrive in said location.
• Boxcar Thurgood Brown: Contains a quote from this first black character ever in ELotH:TES literature.

 

Book 3

• Book 3: Contains excerpts from Chapters 11 and 14.
• Grimfleur: Contains an excerpt from Chapter 14 where the character is described.
• The Bravery of the Doomed
• Mort and the Yogurt of Doom: Contains a portion of this tale.
• Middleclang: Contains an excerpt from the Anti-Climax of Northeastern Crestplains.
• Dwarfsdown: Includes an excerpt where Gavment first begins to realize that the town had been raised by Evilnors.
• Quailheart: Contains an excerpt where Dthr'nex is lured out of Dwarfsdown
• Ring of Great Bling: Contains an excerpt from page 330 about Uregor the Humble using the ring.
• Xoxor Xxar: Mentions the barely speakable nature of the name of Xoxor Xxar.
• CoolCats: Contains a quote from Gavment about these Tribbits.

 

Book 4

• Annelida: Includes a brief snippet from a scene which takes place in the Chasm of Eternal Sorrow.
• Book 4: Includes excerpts of the Four Underdogs confrontation with Char Reyarteb as told by Gavment.
• Plague Mother Spore: Contains a passing mention of the creature from Book 4.
• Kapybara: Contains an excerpt from the book describing her.

 

Book 5

• Kordish Butter: Contains an excerpt of The Story of Mort and the Kordish Butter.
• Gorg Stinkrot: Contains an excerpt of an exchange between him and Felthar about Serafina Haberdasheron.
• Cubby: Contains a quote from the character.
• Bag of Tender Holding: Contains a quote from Serafina regarding the bag.
• The Forlorn Era Of Pensive Twiddle: Contains a quote made by Scrooble in Chapter 21 regarding that era.
• lulz: Contains a song sung by Serafina on the topic.
• The Myrk-Helm of Dark Elemenstation: Contains an excerpt in which Felthar learns of the existence of Dark Elemenstation.

 

Book 6

• Book 6: Contains several excerpts from the controversial middle of the book.
• Throbald the Somewhat Addled: Contains an excerpt including this character.
• Sabembermoff: Contains an excerpt regarding this character.
• Furry People: Contains an excerpt regarding this Race
• Felthar: Contains an excerpt of dialogue, deftly dramatic and striking in its foreboding.
• Elspeth the Plainsrunner: Contains an excerpt of him tracking some minotaur
• Dogus Brankorking: Contains almost an entire chapter from the parallel narrative of the Wasted Elemenstor's central conflict in the cycle.
• Chair Brigade: Contains an excerpt of the typical entrance made by this organization.
• Beef: Contains a quote from Gorg Stinkrot about this meat
• A High Elemenstor's Elemenstave Has An Eldritch And Even Sometimes Epic Knob On The End
• Canonical ELotH Sexuality: Contains an excerpt regarding the effeminate nature of many elven males.

 

Book 7

• Portund: Contains several excerpts from Book 7 including the famed Action Sequence, Vhadxi trying to procure a donkey, and building a vampyre pyre of puppy meat.
• Ickthorn the Unpopular: Includes an excerpt of the meeting of Council of Elders and Betters.

 

Book 8

• Dame Walk: Dame Walk's exit from the tale, and a titilating reference to perilous circumstances.
• Shatterfrag: Contains a quote regarding how to deal with most monsters.
• Heart: Contains a quote from Chapter 27 about the existence of this Element.

 

Book 9

• Book 9: Contains an excerpt showing the strange change in narrative voices partway through.
• Chthonic Swinemen: Contains a quote from Calg Hokhok.
• Canonical ELotH Sexuality: Contains an excerpt regarding the average elven libido.

 

Book 10

• Book 10: Contains several of the arcane verses that make up the book.
• Middleclang: Contains several verses about Middleclang.
• Excerpts from the cycle that are recounted here: Contains a quote from Persephalous Extarba.

 

Book 11

• Brezgar Two-Eye: Contains an excerpt from page 46 of his raid on Lower Lufton.
• Black Flame: Contains some example dialogue from this tragically controversial character.

 

Book 12

• The Mighty and Merciless Magical Monkey King Staff: Contains an excerpt of Ronard the Medium discussing the The Mighty and Merciless Magic Almon Keykingstaff.
• Battle of the Moonlit Banners: Contains an excerpt from this epic battle.
• Battle of The Six Undoings and Five Redoings: Contains an excerpt from this epicly confusing battle.
• Battle of Mort: Contains an excerpt from this epicly rhythmic battle.
• Battle of Firthmore Loch: Contains an excerpt from this epic flashing and gleaming battle.
• Battle of Splinters: Contains an excerpt from this epic furniture battle.
• Battle of the 18 Winds and 7 Half-Winds, Which is Really Just 21 Winds and a Single Half-Wind: Contains an excerpt from this epicly windy battle.
• Battle of Foelttabeht: Contains an excerpt from this epic bragging battle.
• Battle of Windfield Plains: Contains an excerpt from this even more epic furniture battle.
• Battle of The Very, Very, Very, Very Arcane Northern Realms: Contains an excerpt from this epic, unforeseen battle.
• Third and Final Battle of Timidity and Indecisiveness and epicness through studied unepicness: Contain the entirety of this epic and legendary battle.
• Battle of Freedom's Peril: Contains an excerpt from this most epic of all epic battles.
• 100 Descendants of Ronard: Contains a quote from Ablongox the Particularly Unusually Long Lived regarding the aforementioned.

 

Book 13

• Book 13: contains both an example of the infamous "Semicolon Section" and the last words of the series, which are a spoiler.
• Warrior Chefs of Battal: Contains a short excerpt which relays Alton's final humiliation.
• Camdoo W’Teelf: Contains a quote from the final chapter.
• Convolution and Complexity: Contain an example of Brahe's seminal use of the semicolon.

 

The Harbinger Cycle

HC Book 2

• Mort and the Really Cranky Toddler: Contains an excerpt of this tale.

 

HC Book 3

• Really Dark Juju: Contains an excerpt of Harbinger Portent trying to figure out what Really Dark Juju is.

 

ElemenstorLance

The Elfin Factions Tetragy

• Mother Nancy's Fancy Cookbook: An excerpt where an unnamed elfin botanist explains the elves' particular interest in the book.
• Quailheart: Contains an excerpt showing the character's epic tracking skills.
• Canonical ELotH Sexuality and The Elfin Factions Tetragy: Contains one of the greatest insults an Elf can say which started the War of the Elfin Factions.

 

Mudlake, the Forester

• Mudlake, the Forester: Contains an excerpt about the meeting of Mudlake and Squeak Dog with Quailheart
• Quailheart: Contains a song about himself.

 

The Twilight Vampyres

• Quailheart: Contains an excerpt showing the character's odd taste in women.
• Canonical ELotH Sexuality: Contains an excerpt on the same topic as above and an excerpt regarding the sexual nature of vampyres.
• Vampyric Wars: Contains an excerpt from the first chapter which was published in ELotH:TES Magazine as The Vampyric Wars Begin.

 

The Item Guild Wars

• The Item Guild Wars: Contains an excerpt regarding the prophecies of Hygrad the Mighty.
• Canonical ELotH Sexuality: Contains an excerpt of a portion of an elven marriage proposal.

 

Ronard Beknighted

• Magic Rune Knight: Contains an excerpt describing this epic profession.
• King Ronard: Contains an excerpt from his Proclamation of Superiority

 

The Dawn of Unlight's Setting, Part 1: The Rise of Dusk

• Battle of an Unbelievably Easy Victory: Contains excerpts from this embarrassing defeat of Vhadxi.
• Battle of Terrible Vampyre Tactics: Contains an excerpt from the lead up to the battle.
• Tuck Nutgather: Contains an excerpt of Tuck consulting the Leaflet of Regal Powers.

 

The Dawn of Unlight's Setting, Part 2: Victory's Deathknell

• Most Epic and Climactic Battle of the War of Unlight: Contains an excerpt regarding the rescue of Tuck Nutgather.
• Unlight War: Contains a quote from Vhadxi about his impending rule over Battal.
• Gologas Izzabulli: Contains an excerpt from one of the meetings of the The Reunified Elfish Council of Elven Factions.

 

The Underdogs of Rubian

• Battle of the Rebuilt Kingdom: Contains quotes made by Char Reyarteb and the Ocumen during the epic battle.

 

The Misplaced Givings

• The Misplaced Givings: Contains excerpts from Chapters 4 and 7 and Epilogue Chapters 2 and 3.
• Siege of Trembaloo: Contains the same excerpts from Chapters 4 and 7 as in The Misplaced Givings entry and an excerpt from Refound Factions of the Lost Factions of the Unknown Misgivings Trilogy.

 

Perilous Circumstances (Novel)

• Perilous Circumstances (Novel): Contains an excerpt from Day Four Hundred.
• Co'ner the Bright Eyed: Contains an excerpt of him being asked to fight a Dragon.

 

Players of Battal

• Co'ner the Bright Eyed: Contains an excerpt about his many painful near-death experiences.

 

Cryoclasm on Aeropyre Peak

• Cryoclasm on Aeropyre Peak: Contains the very last line of the book.

 

Tides of Epic Conflict Saga

Tides of Sicklemire

• Frolick the Fureater: Contains a quote dealing with how to deal with squirrels.
• The Kapiten: Contains an excerpt from this character's introduction to the story.
• Skizzlefrok: Contains a quote from Chapter 3.

 

Hopebane's Gambit

• Hopebane's Gambit: Contains an excerpt of the betrayal and death of Lopae of Hopea.
• Skizzlefrok: Contains a quote from Chapter 47.

 

The Winds of the Ultracraggoths

• Skizzlefrok: Contains a quote from Chapter 1.

 

Return to the Epic Sicklemire Dilemma

• Sir Fennelton: Contains an example of the forms that this character used during the Pax Hyacinth.
• Skizzlefrok" Contains a quote from Chapter 22.

 

Elemenstors of the Peninsula Presents

The Lost Tales of Shattered Kelembad

• The Lost Tales of Shattered Kelembad: Contains excerpts from the Prologue and First Chapter of this book.

 

Other Elemenstor Literature

Crystalcrown Chronicles

• Quailheart: Contains an excerpt regarding Quailheart's inability to get along with others.
• Canonical ELotH Sexuality: Contains an excerpt regarding Llorllthos' relationship with Princess Crystalcrown.
• Princess Crystalcrown: Contains the betrayal of the Princess by Elanfariestel the Easily Convinced.

 

Weighty Tome of Elemenstor

• The Four Vales: Contains the first 7 verses of this epic book.
• Darkstorm: Contains verses 4, 7, and 14 from the first chapter.

 

The Temptations of the Bix the End Table, and other tales

• The Story That Is Built One Sentence At a Time By Those That Read It
• The Rise and Fall of Minuschitae: Contains excerpts from the Introduction and Chapter 1, Verse 8, Intrasignet 2 of this Appendix.

 

The Dark Side of Carry

• Canonical ELotH Sexuality: Contains an excerpt regarding the relationship between 'Juicy' leSheya and Osmond the Ottoman.

 

Curse of the Dark Master

• Curse of the Dark Master: Contains an excerpt from this classic Choose-Your-Own-Elemenventure book.

 

The Journey of Wolfgang Apprentice

• The Journey of Wolfgang Apprentice: Contains several excerpts from this work.
• Casey Vandershroud: Contains an excerpt about the meeting of Casey and Wolfgang Apprentice.

 

Tales of Yorn

• Tales of Yorn: Contains two excerpts, one of which is a spoiler of the very end of the story.
• Herd Hammer: Contains an excerpt describing it.

 

Countdown to Infinite Wizbits

• Countdown to Infinite Wizbits: Contains several excerpts from this confusing Graphic Novel.

 

Broken Stool: Alchemical Boogaloo

• Broken Stool: Alchemical Boogaloo: Contains several excerpts from this work.
• Cane of Retribution: Contains an excerpt where Grandpa Vengeance preforms the Pendulum of Payback +3 on Greg 'Grizzly' Grumper.

 

Submission: Dressentors

• The Dressentors: Contains an excerpt regarding Char's favorite Nog flavor.

 

ELotH: TES - Pen and Paper RPG

Book of Lost Legendary Tales

• Siege of Arkleaf: Contains an excerpt from the song Waning of the Cohoris.
• Waning of the Cohoris

 

Other Elemenstor Productions

Elemenstor Radio Dramas

• Pyromancer: Contains an excerpt from episode 3, Raging Fire

 

ElamenSTAR

• Mongus the Fortress: Contains an excerpt from episode 211 where Mongus discusses his pet with Mendus the Mind.