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First Battle of Timidity and Indecisiveness

Page history last edited by PBworks 14 years, 10 months ago

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Back to the Seventeen Final Battles of Book 12

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First Battle of Timidity and Indecisiveness

 

The first major appearence of the dreaded Death construct Skullmar was very confusing for everyone involved. Even perhaps, Skullmar itself, who had just been recently resurrected from the remains of Ebberontimax the Brilliantly Golden and was very confused as to what was going on. One minute he was lying in the ground as a bunch of bones, and then this bloke shows up, gives him a black body made up of a vortex of death energy, a huge army, and tells him to go kill some Zuumont guy. You'd be damned confused too.

 

To make things worse, the agreed upon battlefield was petitioned for use late, so both armies had to sit around and wait until a charity picnic hosted by Peaceful Happy Singing Mountain Nuns finished. Both armies spent most of the day drinking in Joisey, noting that a gigantic construct of death made from the corpse of a dead dragon looks hilarious when drunk.

 

When the fighting was actually set to commence the next day, both sides were reluctant to begin fighting because they had become such good friends the previous day. Not to mention that Skullmar was still hungover and passed out and Zuumont had just woken up next to a member of the Nartuush Tribe who claimed to be pregnant with his love-child.

 

Without their leaders, or any incentive to fight each other, members of both armies sort of awkwardly waddled up to each other, flailed their arms a bit, and then ran back to their respective camps.

 

When Skullmar and Zuumont had extracated themselves from their individual predicaments, their seconds in command made up some story about how the might of Skullmar's fear had paralyzed all, and that Zuumont and Skullmar had knocked each other unconcious in battle - causing them both to hallucinate. Luckily, they both bought it. A battle between the two armies may not have happened at all if not for the offense that started the Second Battle of Timidity and Indecisiveness.

 

Ironically, the Ghost of the long-dead Albin Garment had intended to appear midway in the battle, ready to reach over from the afterlife in a last ditch effort to become Epic and renown by using his new otherworldly powers to turn the tide of battle. He was sorely dissapointed, not only because there had been no actual combat, but he materialized on the original specified date for the battle - and only succeded in slightly annoying some picnicking Peaceful Happy Singing Mountain Nuns.

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