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Gespeshio
Alignment
(~/~/~)
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Other Names
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Description
One of the Higherlarks, Gespeshio is both male and genderless at the same time. Gespechio has many forms that he/it takes but usually he/it is depicted with some form of meat in his/its hands. He/It is the Creator/Father/Mother of Gespechio and Gespethio. Also he/it has a Heirarch named Escargoth as a servant who he/it gets to do all his/its dirty work.
Gespeshio was hailed as a savior of the Sjkarblae. It is known among the other Higherlarks as Meatfister because of its proclivity for tenderizing meat with a peculiarly passionate intensity. At the time of Gespeshio's arrival, the Sjkarblae had spent several millennia accidentally worshiping a Globule Vivific which had in fact been lain by one of Gespeshio's Egg Effulgences; they came to call the Globule "the sheiststar" or simply "the shitstar". It was much easier to accidentally do such a thing in those days, since the process of naming had only begun among the four Most Discerning Races.
It is unclear how this saga ends, as the full text of the Weighty Tome of Elemenstor is still not available.
Lore
4 The Elmether is a woeful sot, a doleful sadness descends upon it, a tongeluess polyglot is all that remains of the sacred choirs of Sjkarblae, we who are most glorious and least rational of the worthwhile Elemanifestations!
5 Scintillate, Scintillate, oh lilliputian Globule Vivific! We impugn the quintessence of your ontology. What to make of your pneumatic locus, elevated a brobdingnagian span beyond our comparatively terrestrial confines. You shitstar!
6 But lowe, thye creator's creator will Elemanifest among the Sjkarblae this day!
7 Lowe, a wind shall sweep across the land, and the land shall sweep in turn across the wind such that thy fundaments are lain waste!
8 Lowe, thye own creator's creator, Gespeshio descends like a cascade of santorum that shall wash away your false purity in its carry-stream of putrescence!
9 Though born now in the garbled wasteheaps, born even now in the apostrophe dungeon where your sacred punctuation is tormented to reveal its secrets, this Elemanifestation of Gespeshio shall rise to meet the stars! (Lament of the Sjkarblae 3:4-9)
Comments (13)
Tim said
at 10:45 pm on Jun 15, 2006
"takes on the form of a higherlark"?
I'm not buying it...
elemental is to elemanifestation as hierarch is to higherlark.. if elementals and hierarchs are interchangable then there's a lot more we need to rewrite than just the pages I mentioned before.
Anonymous said
at 10:54 pm on Jun 15, 2006
Yeah, I don't buy it either. I think it just makes itself LOOK like a Higherlark, without actually being one.
Tim said
at 11:01 pm on Jun 15, 2006
Hmm.. that would mean that gespeshio would need to get moved in the deities list so he's not a hierarch.. is realmworlds reprinting all of their reference guides etc. to reflect this change? If so, we should probably make a note of that somewhere because this is a pretty big expensive change... was there any mention of the upheaval in the elothtes magazine?
Anonymous said
at 11:12 pm on Jun 15, 2006
Actually, there was. There was a big argument at RW publishing because the staff there realized that they had no idea what was were the traits that differentiated Summoners, Sorcerers, and Elemenstors and that nobody could figure out which profession was more useful. After a lenghtly period of yelling and screaming, they decided that Summoners needed to be marginally useful but nothing to be thrilled about, Sorcerers should always mediocre, and Elemenstors should be truly epic. From there on, they wanted to buff up Elemanifestations so that one good Elemenstor could take on a sorcerer or summoner with little difficulty. So they're futzing around with Elemanifestations to make them more powerful.
Tim said
at 11:15 pm on Jun 15, 2006
this sounds like an rpg balance thing? Presumably this couldn't affect the elemenstorlance books or the elemenstor cycle where the elemanifestations and stuff are already described...
Tim said
at 11:19 pm on Jun 15, 2006
just to add to the already muddled complexity, the weighty tome of elemenstor verse quoted here seems to indicate that the Sjkarblae were a race of elemanifestations
Anonymous said
at 11:22 pm on Jun 15, 2006
It mostly evolved from arguments at the office when someone editing one book would go "Hey! You think 4 sorcerers could take on an Elemenstor?" and someone else would go "No way!" and disagreements would arise, and eventually devolve into a brawl. The president of RW Publishing is mostly just doing this so he can eat lunch in peace, without having to listen to a bunch of cubicle dwellers down the hall try to extract eachother's teeth with their fists.
Tim said
at 11:28 pm on Jun 15, 2006
do they tell us this guys name? better yet, his email address? making a change like this is going to get him a lot of hate mail... especially from the Summoners and Sorcerers Enthusiasts Club of Battal (SaSECoB).. I think they did a letter writing compaign last year to get them to reprint the classtravel tokenmaster book that shut down the mailroom
Tim said
at 11:29 pm on Jun 15, 2006
I think that there is more evidence that this guy is a hierarch than there is that he was a elemanifestation... perhaps the magazine was referencing Gespethio?
Anonymous said
at 11:31 pm on Jun 15, 2006
That makes more sense. Apparently "Gespe" is a common prefix and adjective that means "Pretty Impressive" in the ancient language of the elves.
Tim said
at 11:36 pm on Jun 15, 2006
gespellacool
Anonymous said
at 11:37 pm on Jun 15, 2006
Oh, and the guy responsible for the buffing of the Elemenstations? [Mich Fehkoo], of course. And his explanation?
More timetravel. *sigh*
Tim said
at 11:40 pm on Jun 15, 2006
are you gonna sort out this gespechio gespethio gespechio thing or should I?
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