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Hammer Baron

Page history last edited by API administrator user 14 years, 8 months ago

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Hammer Barons


The line of Kings of the Nearly Flat Mountains of Urgel. It was the charge of the Hammer Barons from the beginning of their days to see to it that the mountains were flattened, as the first Hammer Baron, Gurryn the Dull proclaimed that they prevented him from seeing the Ocean. He was of course, too far away in the first place. Gurryn raised a great army of Plain Hammerlings to accomplish this task by constantly pounding on the mountains. Luckily, this line of unimaginative dullards was extinguished by Haul of the Minotaur.


The Line of Hammer Barons


The line ended with Kroneklieve, who, being an idiot, decided to go to war with the minotaur so that his Hammerlings would be the most reknowned Hammerers of Battal. His forces were completely routed by the minotaur, who suffered few casualties.


"Rocks do not..." said Haul, who hesitated, as was his habit of waiting for his deceased brother to speak.


"Rocks do not what?" asked the idiot, Kroneklieve.


"...hit back." finished Haul, slamming his hammer down upon Hammer Baron's pate, driving him deep into the rocky soil.


Sadly, the entire minotaur army, and all but one of the Hammer Lords were felled shortly thereafter by an invisible foe... dysentery. The warlike herbivores had feasted before the battle upon Hazeweed which, though made them quite bloodthirsty in battle, affected their terrible stomachs with deadly consequences. Hammer Lord Haul was the only survivor, who had forsaken his vegetarian ways in the wake of his brother Gaul's death and had taken instead to eating the flesh of Dogmen to feed his Bloodlustiness.


Most of Urgel's neighbors were quite happy with the consequences, as they were quite tired of the racket of the Plain Hammerlings.

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