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Meteoric Cow

Page history last edited by PBworks 15 years, 6 months ago

Back to Plagues and Natural Poisons

Meteoric Cow

 

Every now and then a truly curious (even for Battal) instance occurs. A man, an average, unEpic man, is found dead at the bottom of a large crater with what appears to be a very surprised, kinda-splattery, cow. This is known as "death by Meteoric Cow". Those whom have witnessed it say, for example, "I heard a sort of faint mooing, and then all of a sudden this cow came crashing out of nowhere right onto my brother! It was beautiful, really."

 

Incidents of Cowfall (as it is called) are rare and treasured events to the conspiracy theorists of Battal. Endless speculation has been wrought as to where these meteoric cows come from, and why they have always hit somebody when they land. Some believe them to be nothing more than the bovines spontaneously manifesting Lesser Elemenstation, which, in cows, is a self-destructive attack power; others claim there is a "belt" of hovering cows suspended in the air between Middlemoon and the Bright Moons, a belt that occassionally loses a cow, which then falls untold distances and onto some schmuck below. Minotaur Cosmology has yet another theory, considered by some to be quite ludicrous. Arguments about these theories (really, "crapshoots") are known for becoming quite heated. Numerous books have been written on the phenomena, the most famous being The Cowfall Prophecies.

 

Besides their conspiratorial value, meteoric cows also produce meteoric beef and the most rare liquid substance on all Battal, starmilk, the calcium-rich moo juice of the cosmos.

 

When a Meteoric Cow strikes already fallen Meteoric Iron, it often transmutes into the metal known as Meteoric Irony, which apothicarists often collect and grind into a powder or a poultice to treat Irony Deficiency.

 

Discussion

This is exactly the kind of drek that made Book 5 such an abomination. Have some dignity people.
I dont know what youre talking about.Meteoric cows are AWESOME.
Seems there should be a mention on here as to the most likely realistic explaination being cows dropped from Zonardia... and now there is.

Comments (7)

Anonymous said

at 7:48 pm on Nov 7, 2007

Haha, that's awesome.

Anonymous said

at 8:13 pm on Nov 7, 2007

Don't you think we should have a weapon made of meteoric irony as well?

Anonymous said

at 8:28 pm on Nov 7, 2007

Well you have to remember that meteoric iron is so frequent in Battal that practically every iron weapon is made out of it.

Anonymous said

at 7:33 am on Nov 9, 2007

A weapon made out of irony? like we need any more?

K said

at 8:00 am on Nov 9, 2007

Undarhwhom is made from cold-forged irony... wouldn't doubt its meteoric.

Anonymous said

at 9:29 pm on Nov 9, 2007

As far as meteoric irony I'm sure there is a weapon somewhere in ELotH:TES canon that includes it.

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