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One Big Mess

Page history last edited by API administrator user 14 years, 10 months ago

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One Big Mess


Known by the Zonardians as The Great Reseating, this cataclysmic event took place in 35,700 TE. It was instigated by Zonardian mystics who returned Zonardia to the surface of Battal, from whence it departed in the Presundering.



It is known that with the Star Dragon's Heart, the Zonardians were able to awaken the Allsoul of the country itself and Transchant it into a gigantic, ambulatory landmass in order to save it from a massive object known as the Giant Meteoric Cow. The Transchanted continent apparently possessed the power of flight; its departure raised the level of the eastern sea and sunk the continent of Atlantistantinople.


Why the continent did not descend once the threat of cowfall has (arguably) passed is not known. Typical speculation includes:


  1. Living on a flying continent was just too cool to give up
  2. Dropping cows from the edge of the flying continent was too fun to quit
  3. The continent, now Transchanted and Ambulatory, flat out refused to return to its rightful place on the surface of Battal
  4. No one could remember how to land this crazy contraption


Precisely why Zonardia descended after millenia of separation is not entirely clear, as "Why did they descend?" is inextricably bound to the unanswered question above, namely, "Why didn't they descend a long time ago?"


What is known is that, shortly after the Great Reseating, Zonardia fell silent and was ambulatory no more. Even the Zonardian mystics lacked an explanation for this. Most Elemenstors hypothesize that the Transchanting of the continent was tied to the separation of the continent from Battal and that, in becoming part of Battal once more, Zonardia was no longer a separate entity and so could no longer exist in a Transchanted state.



Naturally, the descent of an enormous continent set off earthquakes and tidal waves across the land as well as making several large communities of sea life very very unhappy and, in some cases, extinct. Now an easy Dougboat ride from the southern tip of Ahmawn Stick on The Sickle, trade, travel, and commerce resumed, resulting in a marked increase in both Zonardians and perhaps more interestingly Duruds in the rest of Battal. This is seen most strongly in the Crystalcrown Chronicles where Jonnah Goes-Along-With-It the Zonardian and Mruh the Durud are both prominent secondary characters.


Oddly, the timing of the Great Reseating coincided perfectly with the "shower of a million bovines" predicted in The Cowfall Prophecies. Believers claim that the minotaur and cow populations of Zonardia (which naturally descended at the same time as their continent) mark this as the fulfillment of a prophecy; most people, however, have never heard of and care nothing about the fevered ravings of cattle-sodomizing lunatics.

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