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Rothgar of the Hundred Titles

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on December 5, 2005 at 4:56:09 am
 

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Rothgar of the Hundred Titles

We have few stories actually about him, however we do have his hundred titles, and they tell quite a tale about him. It should be noted that he aquired titles thoughout his life, and as such he was only refered to as "of the Hundred Titles" posthumously--at the time he married Vaxin the Tiny, he was known as "Rothgar of the 72 Titles." It can be surmised from the titles themselves that he led an unusual but nonetheless disreputable life, interspersed with occasional bright spots, suggesting htat he is one of the most realistic characters ever written into Battal.

 

List of Rothgar's known titles:

  1. The Decent Guy
  2. The Lice Free
  3. Who Bathes Semi-regularly
  4. The Uncleanly-Shaven
  5. The Non-Foul
  6. Wielder of Crumpets
  7. The Froggish
  8. The Notable
  9. The While-Not-Great-Certainly-Not-Forgettable
  10. Of a Decent Singing Voice
  11. The Acceptably-Handsome
  12. Of the Neatly-Trimmed Fingernails
  13. Slayer of the Seven Slayers of the Seven Players of the Seven Fiddles
  14. Prince of Pinch
  15. Taker of Naps
  16. Giver of Whaps
  17. Linker of Sausage
  18. The Pink Yesterday
  19. The Yellow Tomorrow
  20. The Egg Filcher
  21. The Undisputed Rothgar
  22. The Lucubratious
  23. King for a Day
  24. Hand of the North
  25. The Wind in the Bushes
  26. Hidden Below Windows
  27. Cracked of Boot
  28. Crooked of Hat
  29. Earl of Sweeping Broom
  30. The Air Breather
  31. The Undeserving of So Many Goddamned Titles About Mundane Things
  32. Bad Touch
  33. Thinker of Thoughts
  34. Eater of Quilp Cheese
  35. Chaser of Drinks
  36. Walker of the Walk
  37. Talker of the Talk
  38. The Often Described But Never Truly Understood
  39. He of More Names Than Really Seems Necessary When One Thinks Of It
  40. Item Law 318
  41. Cousin of Garroth
  42. The Easily-Cheated (used only once)
  43. The Attacker of Those Who Cheat Him And Mock Him For It
  44. With All Those Goddamn Titles
  45. The Unemployed
  46. The Now-employed
  47. The Employee of the Month
  48. The Freely-Spending
  49. Rothgar of the 49 Titles Including This One (no longer used)
  50. Formerly Known as Rothgar of the 49 Titles
  51. The Festival-Goer
  52. The Midsummer-Night Drinker of Ale
  53. The Singer of Songs After Drinking Ale
  54. The Breaker of Windows When Drunk
  55. Who Accidentally Once Wore Vaxin's Clothing To Comical Effect When Drunk
  56. Who Could Not Remove The Incredibly Tight Clothing But Instead Got It Stuck Around His Head
  57. The Recently-Arrested For Having Broken Windows And Creating A Public Disturbance, However Amusing It Was
  58. The Recently-Paroled
  59. Who Denies Having Done A Thing
  60. Of The Bestselling Tell-All Book
  61. Who Dislikes Any Titles Relating To The Events of Midsummer-Night
  62. The Seltit Derdnuh
  63. The Big and Scary
  64. Of the Fen
  65. Of the Glade
  66. Of the Mountain
  67. Who Obtained Three Titles While Fleeing the Hamlet in Direct Violation of His Parole
  68. The Wise
  69. The Great
  70. Of Impeccable Taste
  71. Who Attempted to Improve His Chances with Vaxin by Giving Himself Inappropriately Positive Titles
  72. Of the 72 Titles
  73. The Vaxin-Marryer
  74. The Husband of Vaxin
  75. The Not-Nearly-As-Tiny-As-Vaxin-But-Still-Somewhat-Tiny-In-His-Own-Right
  76. Who Was Caught Beating Up Children And Writing Down The Way They Described It Afterwards
  77. The Twice-Arrested
  78. The Twice-Paroled
  79. The Everychanging
  80. The Earl of James Jones
  81. The Nightmare of Chalkboards
  82. The Second Sweeper of the Midnight City
  83. Eater of Plums
  84. Defender of Irrational Dogmatism
  85. Sultan of Sloth
  86. Furniliar's Bane
  87. Co-Leader of the Albrosian Alliance
  88. The Strategic Genius (after he showed the Alliance his latest plans)
  89. That Moron We Can't Believe We Trusted (after the Alliance tried out his plans)
  90. Who Decided To Fight Yar the Sorcerial
  91. Who Will Certainly Defeat Yar the Sorcerial in Battle
  92. Yar-fighter
  93. Who Heroically Died Saving Vaxin the Tiny from Yar the Sorcerial
  94. Who Stupidly Died in a Vain Attempt to Save Vaxin the Tiny (given soon afterwards)
  95. Who Wasn't Such A Bad Guy Now That He's Gone
  96. Who Will Possibly Be Missed
  97. Martyr of the Alliance
  98. Who Had A Lot Of God-damned Titles
  99. Whose Death Necessitated A Counting of Titles
  100. Of the Hundred Titles

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