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Rusted Spoon of Discontent

Page history last edited by API administrator user 12 years, 3 months ago

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Rusted Spoon of Discontent

The Rusted Spoon of Discontent was forged, or at least enchanted, by Magnus Silver Spatula, to win a Red Turbo Swamp Slime Raccoon eating contest at Quilpboi's inn. The spoon was enchanted in such a way that the wielder became convinced that the plate before him could not satisfy his hunger. Indeed, the longer one was affected by the spoon, the more convinced the victim became that the only thing that would satisfy his hunger was to bore out a beating heart with the spoon, and devour it. After spending a brief stint in the Museum of Really Deadly Weapons when nothing more interesting was available, it was accidentally returned to service. It shows up every other Friday or so, when Quilpboi serves his all you can eat buffet. The return of the spoon is heralded by a number of mystic signs, including fire in the sky, a plague of head lice, and the newest wielder screaming "I found it, the semi-precious" immediately before burying the spoon in his or her neighbor's chest.


"Swear this to me, and I can rest in peace, even if the Ghruels gnaw my bones," Magnus said,

his voice raspy like a cheese grater, "Never enchant a utensil in anger."

"The spoon? Again?" Hendale sighed.

"Not just any spoon, you fool!" Magnus's eyes flashed like burning liqueur,

"Imagine everything evil you have ever imagined, every angry action, every malignant motion."

He paused, his chest rattling like an empty pepper grinder.

"Now imagine it with a rusty handle and a dull curve just perfect for digging out the beating

heart of a living being." Hendale shivered, as though icecream were poured down his spine.

"That is the rusted spoon of discontent."

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