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The Siege of Arkleaf

spans from 17,923 - 17,973

Introduction

The Siege of Arkleaf is by far one of the most boring annals of ELotH:TeS. For fifty years of the Century of Fire, while the High Council of Arkleaf deliberates in one long continuous session, the War Men lay seige to the Gates of Arkleaf until so many of them have piled up that the rest of the War Men are able to take the city.

Notable consequences of this event are the death of Gr'z'tok and Phyllana, the destruction of Arkleaf (which was a very tedious place indeed) and the very unlikely survival of the Cohoris. The battle severly thinned the ranks of the War Men.

Timeline Events

• 17,923 – Gr'z'tok encamps his War Men outside the Gates of Arkleaf, preparing for his long, savage, and ill-planned assault. He begins to assemble the legendary Higgerath, which originally consists of himself, his generals F'KrUK, P'zulG'NaT and Gron along with each of their armies.

• 17,924 – The War Men begin excitedly attacking the Arkleaf and are helplessly slaughtered by the wood-archers. Bodies begin piling up at the foot of Gates of Arkleaf. The carnage only increases the Bloodlustiness of the War Men.

• 17,924 ½ – The High Council of Arkleaf convenes to discuss the problem of the War Men.

• 17,925 – Gr'z'tok gets tired of sleeping in a tent and constructs the Lowtower. Though the Higgerath slowly increases in size, it also is slowly diminished by the constant casualties of the enthusiastic War Men.

• 17,926 – The High Council of Arkleaf votes 9-4 to form a subcommitee of Cohoris diplomats to investigate the cause of the pile of War Men.

• 17,928 – Arrival of Kin'Zul the Elf-Eater. He joins the Higgerath, who have been saving the Cohoris diplomats to feast upon in his honor. The taste of flesh infuses him with intense Bloodlustiness.

• 17,930 – Zuud-pho'n, Chairman of the Grim Vapor Lords, suggests to the High Council that the Cohoris diplomats are unlikely to return, which means that there are probably dead AND living War Men outside Arkleaf. Herrodwyn of the Shamanic Priest Caste sends one of his hawkfalcons to investigate. Shortly thereafter, Ruuk'K'K'u, Despiser of Wing'ed Things and his army of axe-throwers joins the Higgerath.

• 17,930 ½ – The High Council of Arkleaf uncovers the mystery of the dead War Men: that a living army of War Men is amassing outside their gates and being repelled by the royal guard of wood-archers. High Priestess Phyllana sings "The Green City of the Great Woodland Great".

• 17,931 - General Gron suggests pole-vaulting over the walls of the Arkleaf. Though the Higgerath are not yet assembled, Gr'z'tok grudgingly agrees. Over the next two years, Gron and his entire army are impaled on the spiked Gates of Arkleaf.

• 17,933 - The High Council of Arkleaf drafts a Memorandum of Agreement with the Shamanic Priest Caste and wood-archers to develop a new technology for warfare involving falcon-riding. Thus, the great Great Wing'ed Army of Great Falconeers is concieved. The wood-archers, who are busy repelling the steady onslaught of bloodlusty War Men, are unable to sign the Memorandum. Phyllana weeps.

• 17,934 - The arrival of the armies of Shok'Gr'kLL the Aggressive and LurZ bolsters the ranks of the Higgerath, and their Bloodlustiness reaches new heights. The Ten Years of Useless Bloodshed begin.

• 17,937 - The High Council of Arkleaf charters the Grim Vapor Lords subcommittee, who are given the task of uncovering a strategic weakness in the attacks of the War Men. High Priestess Phyllana moves to adjourn for one month to attend her mother's funeral and the Festival of Leaf'ed Greatness, and asks that she also be able to sing a song. The motion is denied.

• 17,938 - After some deliberation, the committee of Grim Vapor Lords, instead of investigating the tactics of the War Men, decide to betray the High Council when Zuud-pho'n points out that they are, in fact, Grim Vapor Lords and ought to be up to some sort of villainous cunning. Zuud-pho'n intones the "Dirge of Deceit of the Last Days".

• 17,944 - The Ten Years of Useless Bloodshed come to an end upon the arrival of Great Warchief T'kK'iT, who brings the Higgerath several hundred barrels of the Liquid of Lighthearted Stupefaction. The War Men halt their assault and begin the Five Years of Uncontrollable Giggling.

• 17,946 - Admiral Beyunbyrnor of the royal guard of wood-archers begins to suspect that the committee of Grim Vapor Lords is up to skullduggery. He entreats the High Council that they should not have been trusted because they are, in fact, Grim Vapor Lords. Phyllana agrees. Knitting-Master of the Cohoris, Peladdywynnyd, vows revenge upon the Grim Vapor Lords in an epic bard song "The Betrayal of Vapors" that lasts for two years, and causes no small amount of controversy.

• 17,947 - Arrival of Th'qrK and his army of Rock-Hitters, who join the Five Years of Uncontrollable Giggling. Many rocks are broken.

• 17,948 - Peladdywynnyd storms out of the High Council meeting enraged, but leaves his house keys behind. Thus begins the Great Wandering Tale of the Great Knitter.

• 17,949 - The Higgerath finish drinking the Liquid of Lighthearted Stupefaction and begin to sober up. It is at this time that they are approached by the Grim Vapor Lords, who are seeking an alliance. The War Men are still very hung over, and they fly into a range, tearing the Grim Vapor Lords limb from limb. Gr'z'tok uses their pallid skin to create his new War Banner, which all of the War Men agree, is much more menacing than the old one. The Three Years of Rejoicing the War Banner ensue, wherein much singing is made of "The War Song of the Higgerath".

• 17,950 - Y'ZgerD joins the Higgerath. Unable to communicate with them due to all of the rejoicing, he decides to attack Arkleaf. His entire army is struck down by the wood-archers.

• 17,952 - At the end of the Three Years of Rejoicing the War Banner, the Higgerath are joined by Gak and Warchief B'Vunz. Gak and his Trench-Diggers begin an attempt to tunnel under the Gates of Arkleaf. His digging is covered by an assault by the Axe-Heavers of F'KrUK.

• 17,955 - Peladdywynnyd returns to retrieve his house keys, and finds that the High Council is still in session. He reports that the Cohoris Guard have developed a new type of battlestaff and battlestaff-related poses that are powerful enough to win a decisive victory against the War Men. The High Council of Arkleaf entreats Peladdywynnyd to bring them the great Cohoris general, Gyntyllion.

• 17,956 - The tunnel of the Trench-Diggers caves in under the weight of the massive pile of dead War Men. Gyntyllion arrives at the chambers of the High Council and weaves them a very nice basket with his battlestaff. Though the other members of the council are quite impressed, Admiral Beyunbyrnor is infuriated, and sings "The Dark Days Ahead".

• 17,957 - After 34 years of siege, Gr'z'tok becomes depressed, and retreats to his Lowtower to engage in the ancient ritual of The Great Sulking of Great Warriors. Confused without his leadership, the Higgerath attack the Arkleaf even more furiously than before. Dead War Men piled up outside the Gates of Arkleaf even faster than before, and Bloodlustiness rises in the ranks of the Higgerath.

• 17,959 - The High Council of Arkleaf is accused of high treason by Admiral Beyunbyrnor, whose royal guard has been fending off the armies of War Men for over 35 years while the rest of the inhabitants of Arkleaf go about their business, or "Weave baskets like those Cohoris fancy lads!" Peladdywynnyd becomes so intimidated of the Admiral that he dies of fright. Arrival of Ch'Kundool and his army of Bitterscorpion Riders.

• 17,960 - The Cohoris hold a great funeral for Peladdywynnyd, which calls for a temporary recess of the High Council of Arkleaf. The smell of bodies piling up outside the gates makes an ominous event somewhat more ominous. Herrodwyn of the Shamanic Priest Caste, sings the "Eulogy Song of the High Weaver" wherin he says: "We are in the last Great Days of the Great Arkleaf. Remember ye all its greatness, and give great pause to its passing." The last days of the Arkleaf continued for 13 more years as its citizens pondered Epicness of the battle outside. Sadly, it was not really that epic.

• 17,963 - Gr'z'tok emerges from his tent to find that the pile of bodies of his men has nearly reached the top of the Gates of Arkleaf. In a moment of tactical genius, he instructs his men to continue assailing the wall and dying en masse, so that their bodies might make a ladder to the top of the city walls and feed the growing Bloodlustiness of the Higgerath.

• 17,965 - The High Council of Arkleaf takes notice of their impending doom. Still unable to agree upon a strategy, the members of the council disband and divide the peoples of the Arkleaf into The Four Factions. Beyunbyrnor, whose people make up the only fighting force of the Arkleaf, realizes that he is totally screwed: The Shamanic Priest Caste start preparing for the inevitable slaughter, the Grim Vapor Lords are all dead, and the Cohoris retreat out of the Back Door of Arkleaf to their Sacred-but-Unimpressive Woodpile. It turns out that the back door had been left open the whole time. In the distance, the song "Waning of the Cohoris" is heard.

• 17,967 - The ranks of the Higgerath are bolstered by the Great Hoarg-Riders of KrggZduul, War Men famed for the savage depth of their Bloodlustiness. The siege continues and increases in fury. The Higgerath are forced to slay the Hoargs, who begin eating away the pile of bodies. KrggZduul becomes most melancholy, and sings The Funeral Dirge of the Hoargs.

• 17,970 - As the pile of War Men draws ever closer to the rim, a legion of Cohoris Guard weilding battlestaffs appears. General Gyntyllion vows to honor the pact between the Cohoris and the wood-archers 'til his last breath. His last breath was met shortly thereafter, as the Cohoris Guard met their doom at the axes of the Higgerath. Their posing, though formidable, was no match for the Bloodlustiness of the War Men.

• 17,973 - The War Men overtop the gates of the Arkleaf. It is like the Battle of Helm's Deep, only about ten times greater in Epicness... and the bad guys win. The forces of Arkleaf are hopelessly lost to the brutality of the War Men. Phyllana, High Priestess of Arkleaf, uses Shamanic Elemenstation to take the form of a falconhawk. Phyllana flies to the Lowtower, where Gr'z'tok is sharpening Mortalkill. She then summoned the aggregate power of seven hundred and seventy-seven Spirits of Channeling to focus untold energy into her Soul Crystal, allowing her to become "one with the tower." She then destroyed herself in a tremendous act of self-destruction.

• 17,974 - The Higgerath, their Bloodlustiness somewhat diminished by the death of their leader, leave the Arkleaf a smoking, unrecognizable ruin.

Excerpt from the song "Waning of the Cohoris"

Source Material

Siege of Arkleaf, with all of its various very long songs and accompanied translations of original languages, composes almost the entirety of the Book of Lost Legendary Tales a companion to Plunder of the Barrenlands, an adventure pack of the ELotH: TES - Pen and Paper RPG. Reading it has been considered an insufferable amount of reference material to wade through in order to play a tabletop RPG. Some material is also noted in the Collide: The Vision expansion to the Wizbits Elemenstor Battle game.