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The Freedom Lover's Wig is a long, curly, white-powdered wig, bestowing upon the wearer a great love of freedom and respect for common-law precedent as regards personal liberty and individual property rights. Its wielder is granted the power to give long, eloquent speeches in defense of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Unfortunately, its wielder is not granted any combat prowesses, nor does that hat have any defensive value. And, as it turns out, most warriors of an Epic bent don't particularly care for being told how oppressed and enslaved they are. And so, unfortunately, most who wear the Freedom Lover's Wig end up with a sword through it.