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The Great Crossing Whilst Looking at Scenery

 

In the early days, when Battal was still forming out of primordial chaos and peanuts, the world was a flurry of chaos known as the Wildlands.

 

Kalechio castrated Ulythyan, Friend of Men, to create the Bright Moons, which seemed to bathe the Men in an eerie glow that they used in strange rituals to improve their intelligence.

 

The Nevelost, Ecreekem, and T'seb grew jealous. Organizing a vast army in Himssford, the three tribes set out to destroy Men.

 

Things did not go as planned.

 

• Day 1: Things start out great. The T'seb are singing cheerfully, the Eckreem are creeping along, and the Nevelost are doing everything perfectly.

 

• Day 2: Tempers flare as the T'seb attempt to use the Eckreem as scratching posts. The Nevelost placate both groups by baking delicious Eldritch Pie using the Epic Ways of the Encients.

 

• Day 3: The Nevelost ironically get the army lost. Much jeering and gloating is made of this.

 

• Day 4: The T'seb realize they have no idea what a man actually looks like. The Eckreem try to describe them to them, only for the short tempered T'seb to hastily assume that the Nevelost are the Men in disguise. A fist fight breaks out. The Nevelost again try to placate the situation with pie, which naturally leads to a pie fight the likes of which none has ever seen, nor ever will see again.

 

• Day 5: The T'seb calm down and both sides reconciled. A council is held to determine what exactly men actually look like.

 

• Day 6: The council points out a mountain which ironically resembles four old men to a "T". Woodcarvings are made as everyone "Ooohs" and "Aaahs".

 

• Day 7: The last day was so pleasant, the army decides to tramp around looking for more things to carve into wood.

 

• Day 7-102: The Army of Himssford finishes the Ye Himssford Album of Sightseeing, a beautifully created book featuring carvings and paintings of all of the locations of the Wildlands.

 

• Day 103: The T'seb make a shocking discovery: plagues. They have the honor of being the first species to go extinct in young Battal.

 

• Day 104: The Nevelost remember they left the oven on 4 months ago and rush home to turn it off.

 

• Day 105: The Eckreem wander around with nothing to do, moping about.

 

• Day 106: The army of Himssford is unofficially disbanded due to lack of interest.